You mean she actually has to say yes!?

I'm sitting here quivering while I hold onto my phone. For me, no matter how many times I've done it, calling a girl to ask her out for the first time is just so stressful. People keep saying, "what's the worse that can happen?" And then they say, "the worse she can do is say no."

I thought of a couple of scenarios...

1)I call her making a complete fool of myself. I stutter and stumble over all my words. I can't think of anything to say so I end up on the phone while it is completely silent. Every second will feel like an hour, then i will randomly start blurting things out... talking randomly w/o purpose or direction before finally just hanging up and throwing my phone out the window. As my phone is falling to the ground, I can hear her scream, "No I will not go out with you, and never call me again you psycho motherfu*ker!"

2) I call her and I suavely ask her out. I don't stumble or stutter over my words. I think of all the most witty things to say. She's laughing so hard her stomach could burst. Then I smoothly ask her to eat a restaurant of my choice, to which she says, " Aww your so cute, you're like a brother to me. I don't know if i can eat at the [specified place] at the [specified time]. I'm actually busy all week, then I'm leaving town. Maybe when I come back I'll give you a call... you crack me up so much, anyway, I gotta do some work before my stomach bursts! ta-ta!" click.

Of course, two weeks later I'll inevitably bump into her somewhere, and we'll have the most completely awkward exchange ever, and I won't be able to bear it and I'll climb up to the Campanille, break the bars open with my skull then jump to my death.

Conclusion:
After writing this, I decided that there is no way I could call her. The alternative of never knowing a woman's touch, laughter, or warmth is better than any of the two above scenarios. I've resigned to my fate of dying a lonely old man.