One hand with thought process (Lim40/80)

I had J9 clubs in BB.

Roy (super super tight player) raises. SB calls. I call.

flop comes 2 5 6 two clubs. check, check, roy bets. Roy although tight, I've observed him raise w/ AK c-bet before as well as medium and big pocket pairs. He usu. limps the smaller ones so i dont believe he has set.

After roy bets, sb calls, I elect to raise for a couple of reasons. One: I'll have good bluffing equity if he has a hand like AK. two: to maximize my equity in the flop w/ a third person with my flush draw. Turn comes J. i bet, he raises. I think for a long time and decided to 3-bet for a few reasons. One, if he has a medium pair, this is likely raising for a free showdown while simutaneously protecting himself against the flush draw. In that case, I should three bet for value and bet river. Finally, if he has a hand like AA, he is unlikely to 4-bet. And if I just call he likely will actually check behind if a flush comes costing me one big bet so I know ill have to bet into him if i hit flush. And he'd bet into me if flush misses since I'm going to call river for sure w/ my pair of Js in this big pot which would mean i pay an extra bet everytime i miss and gain one less bet everytime i hit. The 3-bet although supposedly seeming to cost me more money actually gains me an extra bet everytime im ahead, and saves me the exact number of bets when im behind. Therefore i elect to get the bet in now so i get the extra two bets no matter what if i hit flush, but if he check river upon missing flush, he is (hopefully) unlikely to bet AA even if flush misses in fear of what i had when i 3-bet river. complicated hand huh?

River comes a blank, i check, he checks his 77 i win w/ J9s. At end of hand, i felt bad cuz i felt like I may have missed a river bet since he's unlikely to fold upon calling my 3-bet on turn. But I feared he had a hand like AA when he re-raised me on the turn since he's a tight player. But even tight players fall into the trap of my image.

Proud or Unproud

I realized that every time I describe what it is that I do, I describe it awkwardly without confidence or the same zeal and passion I feel for it on the inside. I'm good at what I do. I like what I do. People graduate from all sorts of prestigious schools and get atypical jobs. Musicians. Actors. Athletes. Is this what I want to do with my life? no. There is nothing that I want to do for the rest of my life. I only know what feels right right now. My job allows me to use my reason, creativity, and cleverness to outwit my competition as well as meeting my financial goals.

Intellectual sport

Poker to me is an intellectual contest. A lot of my co-workers do the job for the money. I like the challenge, creativity, imagination, analysis that goes into playing poker well. I think that gives me an advantage over my co-workers. I treat it more purely and see it as more than just a money generating venture. I believe that as long as I follow my interests, the money will follow.

Lately

Lately I've been on a good run. I realize that the better you run, the more you have to be careful. It is easy to deceive yourself into believing that you are invincible when all the cards fall your way. I find that its more important to be critical of your own game. Lately, I've been reading Winning in Tough Hold'em Games published by twoplustwo.

Investment books

Read so far:

The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham
The New Buffettology by Mary Buffett and David Clark
Learn to Earn by Peter Lynch
Investing without a Silver Spoon by Jeff Fischer
The Motley Fool Investment Guide by D. Gardner

Almost all (i.e. skipped 1-2 sections):

A Random Walk Down Wall Street by Burton G. Malkiel
One up on Wall Street by Peter Lynch


Part way:

Value Investing From Graham to Buffett and Beyond by Greenwald, Kahn, Sonkin, Van Biema
Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits by Philip Fisher
Graham and Dodd's Security Analysis (textbook)
Beating the Street by Peter Lynch

On Q:

The Essays of Warren Buffett: lessons for corporate America / arranged by Lawrence A. Cunningham

Odds? who cares about odds

QQ to 88 lose.
my str8 to flush draw lose.
AA to flush draw lose.
AK top pair to backdoor A4s flush draw, lose.
top pair AQ to AK one card coming, lose.
bottom two pair to AA lose.
bottom two pair to AK lose.

context: every hand all in when i had best hand.
result: lost all of them for my entire stack.

Conclusion: I hate poker.

Fear, regret, and fear of regret

It seems that spring time is very ripe for new relationships and old breakups. Something about the good weather or the change in weather affects people towards action. Even the stock market shows increase volumes in trading during the spring.

Part 1: Fear

I think one of the big reasons many people who seek relationships especially during this relationship ripe period and cannot find it is due in large part to insecurity and fear. If you believe as I believe, that there is no ONE soulmate, and that there can be many people to match you well, then it is not as difficult as it seems to find a nice and decently well matched companion. You'd only have to fish where the fish are and be sure to carry nets and not spears.

Part 2: Regret

This is the feeling people get when opportunities arise and they fail to take it for some reason or another- usually for reasons of insecurity or holding out for the ONE. Is it possible to go a lifetime and not meet that ONE out of 5+ billion? Best employ a more proactive approach.
Part 3: Fear of Regret

This is when people cannot let go of the current companion. They fear letting go of something they've invested so much into. Of course, there's never any good reason to invest more time into a doomed situation. People aren't fit for many reasons. It isn't always one person's or another person's fault. Sometimes the timing is off. Sometimes personalities don't click in an intimate atmosphere. Sometimes the relationship just came to its natural expiration. Nothing in this world lasts forever - not even a diamond.

I think in reflection of my own past, I've committed all 3 at least once each probably more if I was willing to reflect longer and sustain a headache. I'm making this note as reminder to myself not to continue to do so. As Buffett said of business (though i find it just as applicable to relationships), "should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks."