Aces In Yellow

One hand with thought process (Lim40/80)

2007-10-04T02:15:00.000-07:00

I had J9 clubs in BB.

Roy (super super tight player) raises. SB calls. I call.

flop comes 2 5 6 two clubs. check, check, roy bets. Roy although tight, I've observed him raise w/ AK c-bet before as well as medium and big pocket pairs. He usu. limps the smaller ones so i dont believe he has set.

After roy bets, sb calls, I elect to raise for a couple of reasons. One: I'll have good bluffing equity if he has a hand like AK. two: to maximize my equity in the flop w/ a third person with my flush draw. Turn comes J. i bet, he raises. I think for a long time and decided to 3-bet for a few reasons. One, if he has a medium pair, this is likely raising for a free showdown while simutaneously protecting himself against the flush draw. In that case, I should three bet for value and bet river. Finally, if he has a hand like AA, he is unlikely to 4-bet. And if I just call he likely will actually check behind if a flush comes costing me one big bet so I know ill have to bet into him if i hit flush. And he'd bet into me if flush misses since I'm going to call river for sure w/ my pair of Js in this big pot which would mean i pay an extra bet everytime i miss and gain one less bet everytime i hit. The 3-bet although supposedly seeming to cost me more money actually gains me an extra bet everytime im ahead, and saves me the exact number of bets when im behind. Therefore i elect to get the bet in now so i get the extra two bets no matter what if i hit flush, but if he check river upon missing flush, he is (hopefully) unlikely to bet AA even if flush misses in fear of what i had when i 3-bet river. complicated hand huh?

River comes a blank, i check, he checks his 77 i win w/ J9s. At end of hand, i felt bad cuz i felt like I may have missed a river bet since he's unlikely to fold upon calling my 3-bet on turn. But I feared he had a hand like AA when he re-raised me on the turn since he's a tight player. But even tight players fall into the trap of my image.

Proud or Unproud

2007-07-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

I realized that every time I describe what it is that I do, I describe it awkwardly without confidence or the same zeal and passion I feel for it on the inside. I'm good at what I do. I like what I do. People graduate from all sorts of prestigious schools and get atypical jobs. Musicians. Actors. Athletes. Is this what I want to do with my life? no. There is nothing that I want to do for the rest of my life. I only know what feels right right now. My job allows me to use my reason, creativity, and cleverness to outwit my competition as well as meeting my financial goals.

Intellectual sport

2007-07-09T01:43:00.000-07:00

Poker to me is an intellectual contest. A lot of my co-workers do the job for the money. I like the challenge, creativity, imagination, analysis that goes into playing poker well. I think that gives me an advantage over my co-workers. I treat it more purely and see it as more than just a money generating venture. I believe that as long as I follow my interests, the money will follow.

Lately

2007-06-29T11:23:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been on a good run. I realize that the better you run, the more you have to be careful. It is easy to deceive yourself into believing that you are invincible when all the cards fall your way. I find that its more important to be critical of your own game. Lately, I've been reading Winning in Tough Hold'em Games published by twoplustwo.

Investment books

2007-04-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

Read so far:

The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham
The New Buffettology by Mary Buffett and David Clark
Learn to Earn by Peter Lynch
Investing without a Silver Spoon by Jeff Fischer
The Motley Fool Investment Guide by D. Gardner

Almost all (i.e. skipped 1-2 sections):

A Random Walk Down Wall Street by Burton G. Malkiel
One up on Wall Street by Peter Lynch

Part way:

Value Investing From Graham to Buffett and Beyond by Greenwald, Kahn, Sonkin, Van Biema
Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits by Philip Fisher
Graham and Dodd's Security Analysis (textbook)
Beating the Street by Peter Lynch

On Q:

The Essays of Warren Buffett: lessons for corporate America / arranged by Lawrence A. Cunningham

Odds? who cares about odds

2007-04-27T16:17:00.000-07:00

QQ to 88 lose.
my str8 to flush draw lose.
AA to flush draw lose.
AK top pair to backdoor A4s flush draw, lose.
top pair AQ to AK one card coming, lose.
bottom two pair to AA lose.
bottom two pair to AK lose.

context: every hand all in when i had best hand.
result: lost all of them for my entire stack.

Conclusion: I hate poker.

Fear, regret, and fear of regret

2007-04-25T04:05:00.000-07:00

It seems that spring time is very ripe for new relationships and old breakups. Something about the good weather or the change in weather affects people towards action. Even the stock market shows increase volumes in trading during the spring.

Part 1: Fear

I think one of the big reasons many people who seek relationships especially during this relationship ripe period and cannot find it is due in large part to insecurity and fear. If you believe as I believe, that there is no ONE soulmate, and that there can be many people to match you well, then it is not as difficult as it seems to find a nice and decently well matched companion. You'd only have to fish where the fish are and be sure to carry nets and not spears.

Part 2: Regret

This is the feeling people get when opportunities arise and they fail to take it for some reason or another- usually for reasons of insecurity or holding out for the ONE. Is it possible to go a lifetime and not meet that ONE out of 5+ billion? Best employ a more proactive approach.
Part 3: Fear of Regret

This is when people cannot let go of the current companion. They fear letting go of something they've invested so much into. Of course, there's never any good reason to invest more time into a doomed situation. People aren't fit for many reasons. It isn't always one person's or another person's fault. Sometimes the timing is off. Sometimes personalities don't click in an intimate atmosphere. Sometimes the relationship just came to its natural expiration. Nothing in this world lasts forever - not even a diamond.

I think in reflection of my own past, I've committed all 3 at least once each probably more if I was willing to reflect longer and sustain a headache. I'm making this note as reminder to myself not to continue to do so. As Buffett said of business (though i find it just as applicable to relationships), "should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks."

In this world you are useless without capital

2007-03-25T06:28:00.000-07:00

I've really come to believe that the only way to make big money is to have big money. No matter your level of competence, if you didn't have money, you can't generate big money. There's several reasons I really believe this. One has to do with my poker playing. I don't care how good you are, but how are you going to play without money? My friend argued that if you only had $1 but was promised to be dealt pocket aces every hand, you'd still go broke despite playing flawless by going all in everytime preflop.

I've also been reading Warren Buffett's biography: Buffett: the making of an american capitalist. I've no doubt he's amazingly skilled when it comes to investing, but he had to convince dozens of people that he was good enough to warrant them risking their capital with him. All of his partners consisting mostly of family and friends invested with him to everyone's gain. That was when he first started out. But lets put Warren Buffett in a different situation. Let's say he is a racial minority in a poor city with his amazing mind and abilities. How will he come up with the capital to invest? Will his family and friends be able to come up with figures over 5 or 6 digits so that he could invest? Unlikely.

Fact of the matter. Skills with no money = no money. Money with no skills = likely no money, but you still have a better chance than the skillfuls with no money. Skills and money = likely money.

A compliment at last

2007-03-21T05:37:00.000-07:00

Today as I was playing, Daryll, who won the Venetian deep stack tournament for over $40k told me that if I kept coming every tues/thurs, I'd clean out the game and it wouldn't exist anymore. I thought at first he was mocking me, but then to see his sincere seriousness, I was a bit taken aback. I denied the validity of what he said, but in my heart, I felt like that was the best compliment anyone can pay me. He seemed to believe I was invincible. Except that I ain't and I do lose, sometimes.

Importance of Math: expected value, bluffing frequency, and randomization

2007-03-19T04:45:00.000-07:00

Poker is a mathematical game. Before you get me wrong, I'm not a "math player." That is, I'm not exceptional at math nor would I fit the stereotypical "math player" and I understand that poker is a people's game. What I mean when I say that poker is a mathematical game is that the right play is deeply rooted in math and understanding the person's tendencies helps plug you it into a mathematical equation to find the right play. I know I'm going in circles so I'll explain in examples.

For example, the right frequency to bluff in a situation is determined based on the likelihood your opponent will fold in that particular situation. In limit, for example, when all the cards are out, how do you determine whether you should bluff on the river? If you can figure out that the pot is offering a caller 5:1 odds to call, but you know that they will fold the best hand 1 in six times, then bluffing now becomes mathematically correct.

For example in NL, the right amount to bet is the amount that maximizes your expected value. In order to know how to maximize your expected value, you must be able to accurately assess how much a person is likely to call based on their likely range of holdings. If you put someone on a flush draw, what is the maximum that person will call to chase their draw while offered the wrong odds? The difficulty of maximizing expected value is when you do not know what cards your opponent likely hold.

Being able to accurately gauge what a person is likely to be playing (reading a player) helps you plug the right percentages into the mathematical formulas that allow you to play very optimally. How do you get good at reading a player's likely cards? Observation. You must watch them in many different situations so that you may predict accurately what they are doing in a situation with you. For example, if you wanted to predict what your girlfriend/boyfriend or mom/dad would do in a certain situation, you might be right very often because you've observed them in many many different situations and have an understanding of what they are thinking. People's betting patterns, frequency of raising versus folding, number of pots they play, how often they betting or raising, how often they calling or folding all give information on how someone plays even if you never get to see their cards face up out of the muck.

Once you get good at that, you can beat many medium stake games. But in order to win at the next level, you must also be able to deceive opponents who are actively observing you and assessing your play. You do this by choosing a mixed strategy. Quite simply, you randomize your plays so that even if they are reading you, they'd fail because even you do not know what you will do since you have randomized your play. In a lower stake game, its almost unneccessary to randomize since playing straightforward poker will usually win since your opponent's are not thinking about what you have. In higher stake games, your opponents are spending considerable mental resources on figuring out how you think, how you play, what strategies you use in certain situations, or what your betting patterns say about your game. In that case, you randomize and the percentage you chose one action over another is dependent on many variables in which you can apply in a mathematical formula to find the exact right percentage.

Dedicated or consumed with madness?

2007-03-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

I feel consumed. I spend hours a day thinking about poker. Nearly the first thing I think of when I wake is some hand I played, how I could've gotten more value for a certain hand, or how i misplayed some hand or endless other strategic considerations. The last thing I think about before bedtime is the same story. It's becoming more than just work or a passion, but almost an obsessive addiction.

Is this madness? Have I gone mad or I'm focused and dedicated - have I crossed the line?

Today was the first time I went to Lucky Chances. I saw this 22 year old (he looked young, and i later asked him his age) with nearly 15k in chips in front of him. I envied him so much. He just looked so cool playing with the big boys at such a young age. I one day want to play the 10-10-20, 40 to open game at Lucky Chances. Problem is the game plays so big it'd require a huge bankroll. I recognized some fish I play at the Tu/Th big yellow game at Casino San Pablo. I can visualize my next goal. I'd have to work hard on my game so that I can bankroll myself into the 10-10-20 blinds game at LC. My patience tests me. I was itching just to take a shot at the game. Do I need saving?

Tipping Dealers : generous is selfish, selfish is idiocy

2007-03-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a consistent tipper, but I almost never overtip (just so you know my bias). Many people wonder what the right balance of tipping is. I'm not entirely sure what the answer is but I do have a strong idea of what the pertinent factors are.

The first question is: should i tip?

First thing to consider is that dealers make minimum wage and derive the majority of their income from tipping. If casinos were to continued paying dealers minimum wage, there would be no more quality dealers left in the world as their skills could probably be better utilized elsewhere. Amongst the things a dealer must do well is keep track of the pot size, keep track of the players, make sure everyone puts the right and correct amount into the pot, prevent cheating and collusion, pull the stacks into the pot, recognize the best hand, enforce the rules, and be extremely efficient and courteous. These are highly important to a well run game. So the answer is if you don't tip quality dealers, you lose quality dealers and the game becomes poorly run.

Consequently, you should make every effort not to tip a poor dealer. An experienced dealer that doesn't do their job deserves to find another job that they appreciate more and do better in. Dealers that fail to do their job cost ALL of the players at the table money as well as the casino. The sooner they find another occupation, the more likely all the players at the casino will benefit, as well as the winning poker player.

Second Question: How much should you tip?

Here are my general guidelines:

In general, you should tip more for better service. In general, you should tip a bit more for bigger pots since those pots require more work and time. So the question is, how much do you need to tip to keep good dealers in business? If you were a good dealer, would $10 a hour suffice? Would $20? would $30 an hr suffice? My opinion is that a good dealer should make at least close to what a good assistant would make. That is about $30-40K a year (Vegas dealers make about 55k/yr. I don't know what CA dealers make) They should make less than say a consultant a big firm which is about 60k. So at 40k a year working 48 weeks per year and working 40 hours per week, a dealer would be generating $20/hr. I think that's fair and thats an amount that keeps a lot of quality dealers on the workfoce. Since they are paid $7.50/hr by casino, they would have to generate $12.5/ hr in tips to make $40k a year. Typically a dealer can deal on average 25 hands/hour. Most patrons tip at least a dollar each pot, but often more while few tip nothing.

Now that we know how valuable a dealer is to the game, the other side of the equation is how much can you tip to still stay in business? If you tip too much, you cut significantly into your profits and become a losing player. Losing players cannot stay in business and therefore drop out of the poker economy and can no longer pay money to the casino which pays these dealers and also can no longer contribute tips to dealers. In other words, being too generous is disastrous for dealers as well as for your personal bankroll. Another point is some players are so good they can afford to overtip, but in that case they aren't properly compensated for their huge investment in time, money, and effort which means being a pro poker player becomes a less desirable for the highly skilled which then results in that person finding a new occupation that compensates properly for that person's highly desirous intellect. (this is just an economical point of view - some ppl love poker and would do it even regardless of money)

Given these variables, there is some equilibrium point in which you tip quality dealers that in term help you maximize your earn which means you can afford to tip them more. A player must be able to beat the game, beat the variance, beat the rake/drop, and still show considerable profits for their time. The poker player's time must be compensated for all the time they used to gain neccessary experience, build a bankroll, or read dozens of educational books.

Before you think of being too "generous" :

The consequence of tipping above the equilibrium point is that you make less and dealers make less because you now drop out of the poker economy and are unable to contribute to the poker economy.

So before you think of being selfish and tipping nothing:

The consequence of tipping below the equilibrium point is that dealers make less, drop out of dealing and are replaced by bad dealers which in turn costs you money.

Ruthless and risky : Lessons from a failed bluff

2007-03-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

The thing about poker is that you have to do many things simultaneously well. You have to be able to make a good hand yet fold it to a better one. You have to be able to take a bad hand to call a bluff. You have to be able to take a great hand and throw the knockout punch. Each of these situations comes with a certain sense of urgency because in poker, the opportunities to throw a knockout punch is very rare and if you don't knock them out when u get a chance, then you might have to wait hours for ur next chance. Finally, despite there being very few chances to knock someone out (stack them completely), you are always and constantly under the threat of being knocked out.

Poker is like boxing. Good boxers throw jabs and block the opposing player's aggression. They jab until they can manever themselves into a situation where they can throw that knockout punch. And they know, if they miss that knockout punch a) they have to manever forever to have it again, or b) they manage to needlessly expose themselves and get knocked out.

Nonetheless, yesterday was one time in which I felt I played very well. Not perfect. But damn good. I managed to stack someone everytime I thought I had the hand to do so. I got value for my marginal single pair hands. I saved bets when I had a strong but second best hand.

One of the hands I'm most proud of is actually one of my failed bluffs. They say good players must always take calculated risk and here was one (most would find extremely risky):

I raised in late position w/ K8o when I saw one of my favorite fish limp in. Everyone folded to him and he called. flop came Qd 9d 6s. Now I made a c-bet representing a Q. I looked at him the whole time. He stared at the board the whole time. Even as he was calling, he kept staring at the board like he was dying to know what the next card was. At this point, I knew he had a flush draw. The thing is, I had nothing. Turn came a blank, 4c. Now he checks it to me and I'm thinking, i can a)check it down and then bet when the flush misses to take the pot or i can take the riskier but far more profitable approach.

I did b) I bet an amount that I thought he would call planning to take it away from him on river when he misses flush or give up if he hits it. Since I knew on the turn he had less than a quarter chance to hit his flush, I knew that that $200 i bet, i would win back with 80% probablity and if he hit, i wouldn't pay him off.

So I bet $200 into a $200 pot. River came a Ah. Now I made a huge bet - $500. I felt that there's no way he could call. I could have two pair, a set, or AK. I built the pot, gambling that he wouldn't hit his flush (and he wouldn't over 80% of time) and end up letting me take it down. He thought for less than 5 seconds, then called. Opps, now im fuked. He showed AdJd - missed his flush - but caught a SINGLE ace w/ a weak kicker and called a nearly pot size river bet against someone that was betting out the whole time. Despite that, I knew against any reasonable player, my bluff would have succeeded and I'm proud of myself for having the courage and conviction to take advantage of my read for potential greater profits.

Its in such a way I feel very much like I've improved a lot. After I realized he played a single ace that strong, i ended up getting every dime back from him on the last hand of the game where I flopped a set of Ts on a flop of 9 T A rainbow. I knew he had an A so i proceeded to bet double the pot on the flop and he pushed all in to have me insta-call him and get stacked for over a grand. I remembered his weakness of overvaluing a single pair, and I exploited that to the maximum. Ruthless? Perhaps. But that's good poker and I'm damn proud of it.

MLK jr, oppression, racism, justice and equality

2007-02-26T04:52:00.000-08:00

I finished MLKjr.'s autobio finally. Besides the many impressive things he's done, I want to discuss the chapter on the Chicago campaign. In most of the beginning of his life he battled blatant racism in the South. In this chapter, he talks about how racism is different in the NORTH. For example. he argues that first the people are exploited because they were not allowed to get a job. They weren't allowed to get a job because they weren't educated. They weren't educated because they didn't live in areas with good integrated schools. They couldn't live in those areas because they didn't have money. They didn't have money because nobody would hire them. So they lived in ghettos where they paid high rent prices relative to what they got. All the surrounding businesses ripped them off because frankly the shops and such had a monopoly on their business. They couldn't go elsewhere for their shopping because if they relied on any government assistance (which they all did to a small degree) they weren't allowed to own any property or assets. Without any property or assets they couldn't own a car as means of transportation. They couldn't invest in their own future. As I read this, I couldn't see how any person, white or black could get out of that vicious cycle.

(the funny thing is i could see why the gov't would not allow people relying on gov't assitance to own property and assets. They didn't want leechers or freeloaders. their reasoning might be, if you had any assets, you didn't need the help. i think thats a dubious assumption. But also, the fact that they didn't allow the people to own assets meant that they will never let the people who need assets and such ever to break out of their cycle.)

I think for most of my life I felt like if you didn't succeed, it was your own fault. But since coming to Berkeley, I realized that sometimes a system can be so wrong and/or oppressive that no one in that situation despite making the best decisions and having the most persevering heart can have any chance of success. For example, the other day I was talking with one of my friends where they read a nonfiction account of this scholar that moved to a Western country (forgot which). The whole story talks about his trials and tribulations and his eventual failure and inability to ever move up economically or socially in society. My friend said taht while in class discussing the book, some students said that this man was ultimately a failure because he couldn't succeed. My friend also said that it was a bit ironic since all the students were white, but also shocking to many of the rest of the students and the professor. The whole point of the book was taht he arrived with all the skills neccessary to succeed but because the system was so fucked up, he still ended up, unfortunately, a hopeless failure.

With this line of reasoning, I've been thinking about how it is in America now. It really does FEEL like racism and oppression isn't directly affecting us. But on some deeper level, I feel like it still does and we are all still part of the system that favors the white male. I look at our political leaders and that's all i see. old white men. I look at the richest ppl in america. old white men. And I wonder, have we already made the progress neccessary so that all people have the same opportunity to succeed. I figure, if you have the opportunity but you dont capitalize on it, that's your fault. But if you are given a equal chance, then its fair. if your given an unequal chance when someone is given even more, thats unfair. What do you think? Do you feel like you, and I can succeed in america? do you feel as asians in the communities we've grown up in, and the connections we have, we can succeed as much as the white man?

I feel like I'm losing my strain of thought. I shouldn't write stuff like this at like nearly 5am in the morning. im goin to stop here for now

University Education = Wasteful spending?

2007-02-22T03:28:00.001-08:00

Its moments like this that really challenge the importance of school in my mind. Lately I've been far more convinced that a university education is really just a business that sells the idea that we need to go there to get educated. They want us there because they want our money. The reason i've started to feel this way is because I rarely need to attend my classes, but I jsut read my books and the exams are stupidly easy. I don't even bother to check my grades thats how i dont care for them anymore. Then you read about many obscure great artists, writers, great business people or whoever meets the societal definitions of success and you wonder: did they need school or just books? To drive home my point, Malcolm X never went to school but was just as educated. He didn't pay 3.8k of fees every semester but he got the education he needed in books. So i think, the key lies in books. Imagine the number of books you can buy w/ 3.8k in fees. Imagine the number of music records you could buy. What a waste hard earned money. I feel deceived, utterly fooled that I believe along with my parents and much of society that it is so important to get this certification of graduation. For example, you taking classes at a community college now for a fraction of the cost for your own learning (not that damn certificate) and that makes much more sense to me.

First thing i'm going to tell my kids is that if they chose to go to college... they are paying for every cent of it. Then they can spend the first five years working and feeling the regret as their hard earned resources leave their bank accounts. That brings me to my other point. These mysterious people had to convince everyone in the world that an university education was super important, but at the same time they had to figure out how to separate the ignorant from their money for as much as possible. So they invented loans. So convinced even the poorest of poor that finally managed to save enough pour that as an investment into their university education. Really, I bet if they were smart enough to get into a school like Berkeley then they were smart enough to find a way to make that ticket of opportunity sail them further in their lives. University education really is just a terrible opportunity cost. Then again, they can't be that smart since they chose to come here and be tricked anyway.

Business really is a brutal thing. The other day my dad was telling me that his competitors tell their customers that their Asian furniture are all authentic and over 200 years old. My dad said that he'd lay his everything he owned that not more than a half dozen items in their store is over 3 years old. I believe him. I asked him if it worked for them, and he said that it did because the typical white consumer didn't know any better. The business of education is the same thing.

Disclaimer: don't get me wrong. i think education is VERY important. I just don't think the University education at 3.8k per semester is important. 2nd disclaimer: i do think business does alot of good for the world, but i also think it lends itself to deception as well.

If a taught a NLH poker course...

2007-02-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

What textbooks would I use (in order of importance)?

1. No Limit Hold'em: Theory and Practice by Sklansky and Miller
2. Doyle Brunson's Super System (only for deep stack play)
3. The Theory of Poker by Sklansky
4. The Mathematics of Poker by Chen
5. Pot-Limit and No-Limit Poker by Reuben and Ciaffone

Other Mentions:

improve your poker
Harrington's volumes
Ace on the River
Hold'em poker for advanced players
winning low-limit hold'em
mike caro's book of tells

Focus

2006-10-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

I skipped another 2 days of class and I realized something about being abroad that has been both beneficial and disastrous to me.

I have to focus on what is important to me. In the confusion, I have lost sight of it. I've stopped exercising. I stopped poker-ing. I stopped studying. I feel like I spend my days shopping and haggling on the right price. I'm having so much fun meeting new people, seeing new things, dancing, socializing, and so forth that I'm not getting the neccessary things done. While I think everyone enjoys studying abroad, I think it is something that cannot be done long unless you have really strong focus. Learning about a new culture, meeting people from all over the world, and seeing yourself in a completely different environment helps in many ways. But for me in particular, I feel like all of these things have come at the lost of some of my other values.

I value health, life long fitness, exercise and its direct benefits.
I value working on my analytic ability and deriving benefits to my personal well being.
I value using work I love to derive financial well being.
I value building relationships that make me happy and touch my person.
I value improving myself.

I decided starting tomorrow I should either swim, run, or workout. In all likelihood, I decide to run a few laps and do some situps and pushups.

I decided starting tomorrow I will play at least one hour of poker since I've been too sporadic on it.

I decided that I will still continue focused on loving my mom and dad, and share with those who truly care.

I decided that when i get back i'd like to take some dance or cooking classes or something. But more importantly, I'd like to spend at least one hour tomorrow working on my Chinese.

Have I lost sight of myself? Have I lost myself in the minute meaningless details of haggling? In trying to protect myself from being deceived and jipped, I allowed myself to slip into a pool of meaningless-ness? What have I done?

Illegal

2006-10-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

I feel frustrated with the recent new poker legislation. I feel like i should write about it but as soon as i got this thing loaded up i lost my motivation. hopefully i can write about it later.

Most Annoying hand in Vegas

2006-06-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

After coming back from vegas there is one hand i keep pondering...

I have a LAG image. ONe guy actually tells me that he doesn't think I can have it that often.

Truth is i was on a rush of card and i didn't have it THAT often, but often enough to be sitting with about $600 on $200 buyin.

Table is loose passive. I'm 3 from button, and entire tables limps to me. I look down at 99 and raise 10xBB. Shockingly, button guy who was one who told me two hands ago that he doesn't think i have it all the time, calls. Shockingly, the rest of the entire table calls. So thats $20 x 7 = $140 in pot. flop comes 5s6s7s. I have 99 w/o the spade. checks to me. I decide to bet $60. Button guy reraises instantly to $200 for $140 more. It folds around to me and I think about what he can have. I eliminate possibility of him flopping nut flush because I think it'd make more sense to trap here. But the fact that he instantly raised me w/ absolute confidence makes it a possibility right? Online, I would have read him as weak. In person, I thought strong. Then I ask a nifty question, "Will you show me at least if I fold?" He says "sure" Anyway, I think for like 5 min. management is tired of it and time me. I start thinking I have him beat and he's on a flush draw, but I can't be sure. Even if he's on flush draw I'm only 2:1 favorite, but if he also has two overs.. I'm not even that. I know he doesn't have an overpair because I seen him ALWAYS reraise preflop MINIMUM w/ that kind of hand. Thinking back, I think is likely he overvalued his 97 w/ the 9 of spade since when I folded, he showed me the 9s then claimed he had the nut str8 flush. I instantly laughed and said that I didn't believe him. I said that if he had the nut str8 flush he'd show the 8s9s both proudly, not just show one 9s and then muck the other one. If he had 9s7d or something, then he had 3 outs from the 7s, and 9 outs from the spades for a grand total of 12 outs. That means I wasn't a strong favorite and would essentially be gambling. At the same time, it also means I folded the best hand in a plus EV situation. What should I have done?

PokerStars blogger event

2006-05-31T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7246033

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7246033

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7246033

Summer

2006-05-31T15:17:00.000-07:00

Its summer. I've been playing alot of poker. There's a blogger championship coming free on pokerstars so I'm updating to make sure I qualify as a "regular updater." I'm at berkeley right now and will go to Las Vegas on Sat. till Wed. June 7. I hope to play real well and win lots of moolah.

New semester goals

2006-01-23T22:42:00.000-08:00

It is a new semester and time to set goals.

1. Grades and Learning

Last semester was about being lost. This semester I'm still lost, but I'm going to be productive and do well in my classes. So far I'm still waitlisted for finance and Mandarin. I find finance pretty interesting so I hope i get added... though they say the prof. is extremely hard.

2. Tennis, Health & Fitness

Still among one of the most important goals this semester is health and fitness. So far I've been steady by playing tennis and going to the gym. I usually play tennis 6-7 times a week and workout about 4x a week. My intention is to maintain this routine and see some steady improvement. I also intend to get 10 hours a sleep a night.

Winter Break Grade

2006-01-20T17:18:00.000-08:00

1. New York, Grade: A-

Free flowing alcohol, good company, seeing my Godbro, Time Sq, Ice skating, the whole shabang. What would push it to an A? Better sleep.

2. Tennis, Grade: B-

I wanted to train and do sprints. I didn't. The week in NY tore my whole game apart including my fitness level. I went relatively fit, came back a fat gummy bear. Though I didn't fail because I still managed to at least play tennis almost every single day that I wasn't away.

3. Poker, Grade: C-

I intended to play nearly 3 hours a day. I probably played 6-7 hours a week. Hardly meeting my goals.

4. MLK Jr. Book, Grade: F+

I read a few pages, dabbled around, but didn't get finish all of the book like I intended.

5. Mandarin Language, F

I didn't do any of it.

Though if I were to add a sixth, friends and family, that would earn a solid A.

6. Friends and Family (plus relaxation), A.

Overall GPA for Winter Break in terms of accomplished goals? C-. Subjective satisfaction with Winter Break = B+.

Let it Rage

2005-12-11T17:26:00.000-08:00

I can't wait for break. I've quite a few goals for the one month break we are about to have.

1. Poker (financial, mental)

I intend to practice poker a lot more than I've had a chance to play this semester. I hoping to do so about 3-4 hours a day or possibly up to 5-6 hours time permitting. I intend to play ring games or many tables of SNGs and really work on thinking through my decisions. I also hope to thoroughly analyze those decisions more using hand histories.

2. Mandarin Language (culture and language)

In order to take Chinese class next semester, I'll need to brush up on my Mandarin dramatically. In order to do so, I have to study ch.17-25 on my Mandarin textbook. My Berkeley professor even suggested that I try to study a bit more if I can so I won't feel like I'm falling behind in the class. I intend to do just ch.17-25. That equates to about 3 chapters a week or about 1 chapter every three days. I think I'll have to dedicate maybe three hours a day to this since one of the weeks I'll be gone to NY.

3. Tennis (physical)
I think the most important aspect of any sport is to be fit. Fitness transfers to all other aspects of your life, from your attention span, expected happiness in life and length of life, as well as ability to play other sports. Things like strength training, quickness, agility, eye-hand coordination, and overall fitness will help, I think, to help me live an overall healthy lifestyle. I think this will take 1.5 hours a day if I add it to a jumprope routine.

I have this book on tennis fitness and strength training. I intend to follow it as religiously as possible. I also intend to play as much as 2 hours a day. Despite fitness, practice and stroke consistency is still a must and also keeps me motivated because playing good tennis is such an unbelievable high.

4. Martin Luther King Jr. (knowledge, inspiration, mental)

I really want to read his posthumous autobiography I believe it will help me gain insight onto how to battle social injustice especially that towards Asian Americans. In addition, even if it doesn't, I think he was a great man, and much of what he said has really rung true to me. I'm sure it can't hurt to read about him. The book is about 400 pages. I think that comes out to be about 100 pages a week. With only 3 weeks, thats about 134 pages a week, 20 pages a day, which I'll give as maybe 20 min. to 1/2 hours a day.

5. New York (social, culture)

I'm going to NY. I'm going to eat well, have fun, relieve stress, see musicals, and just thoroughly enjoy myself in NY with my lovely friends.

A is for Abstinence

2005-12-06T13:32:00.000-08:00

In order to break my highly conservative Christian roommate's resolve in remaining a virgin, I've been bombarding him with all the sex resources I could find...

http://www.forbes.com/2003/10/08/cz_af_1008health.html

http://marriage.about.com/cs/sex/a/sexfrequency.htm

Of course, I don't really believe any of that bullshit. I think scientific researchers are full of shit. The only way to go is what the bible says... no sex before marriage! After all, the bibles advice is not written by fallible researchers. It's the word of God written out by prophets into this 1000+ page book.

ABSTINENCE kids! ABSTINENCE!

My Playground

2005-12-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was eating at a sushi restaurant with a very clean smelling bathroom and I couldn't help but think, I kinda sorta wanna have sex in here. I look to my right then to my left, and there's no hot girlfriend waiting to have sex with me. The excitement, the passion, and the raw lust is not even all of it. Because every moment in which you are at that restaurant, you can't help but glance at each other with twinkling eyes and slight blushing. Both of you know of the deed, both of you are scared to bring it up in fear the waiter will overhear, but you both share the same secret. Sharing the secret, being caught up in your own world filled with insider jokes and experiences makes me feel as if the world was made for me. Egocentric sure, but an indescribably romantic feeling.

I miss it.

2005-11-28T11:04:00.000-08:00

Uninspired, uncertain, lost, confused. Lacking direction is such a painful feeling. I was in such a rush to do everything and now after I stop and just reflect for one second, I don't know where I'm on a rush to. Why graduate so fast? Where am I even going? College today is all about rush rush rush. Then money money money. The purposes of college in our society today serve different purposes today than yesterday. College today is about setting you up to the fast track of monetary and career success. I think once upon a time, there was less pressure to rush toward such success and take your time to absorb the learning process. Then again, I'm doing literally nothing when it comes to school that does it really matter which goal college serves?

I'm caught in a paradox.

On one hand, I fear that I'll be some poor schmuck living off my parents with no financial prospects or the will to find some. Of course, my parents will support me until finally its unbearable. They'll beg me to get a job or do something w/ my life to which I will respond to by getting a job and just being complacent doing the bare minimum (for some reason I think of American Beauty). I'll never earn the six figures neccessary to own your own home and live independently (forget about buying my parents a retirement home). Women who once found me attractive for my wit, charm, and more importantly, future financial prospects will drop me faster than [insert witty analogy here]. Before I know it, my life has become that insertion. I'll not be able to attract those beautiful women and if I do, I can only think she'll act like Penelope Cruz in Blow when her husband lost his fortune. Incessant bitching, complaining, and general discontent. I'll live the rest of my life wondering how I squandered such opportunity.

On the other hand, I fear that I'll be in excellent financial prospects that I'd be willing to sacrifice family, friends, and life in a slow spiral that culminates in me being retired and uncertain why I spent all my life making this crumbly green paper that has no use to me as a person. How is it even possible that this should happen? One of my best friends, Pam, told me about how a successful friend of her boyfriend's hasn't gone on vacation for 3 years and constantly has to turn down work because he is overflowed with work. When he finally goes on vacation, his clients call him begging him to come back and work. They say they'll double his pay, he refuses, they say they'll triple it, then quadruple it, and before you know it, they named the price that he just can't turn down. He skips vacation and flies back. Imagine that you are lying on the beach with the sun beaming on your back while people are running about, volleyball players calling the score behind you, while calm serenity and relaxation all embodying you. Now imagine that you are offered a million dollars to forego such relaxation temporarily. I think that even relaxation is stressful when you know that the opportunity cost of such relaxation is a million dollars or any other large amount to you. Before you know it, 5 years have past, then 10, then 25, and before you know it 60 and you're old and rich and have skipped all of life. You finally stop and decide to reflect only to realize that you've missed all your vacations, and went to all family events with a beeper and a cell phone ready to get out as soon as the cake is cut because you've got multi-millionaire clients urgently needing your attention. Your children, parents, spouse, and all other family will understand you justify, and before you know it, you're working and those thoughts about family and friends just recede into the background.

Thanksgiving Weekend MiniUpdate

2005-11-28T00:19:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving weekend was such a refreshing 4 days. I did all the things that I've been previously doing... namely not doing any work and having a lot of fun. I also got to see a lot of friends.

Utterly Lost

2005-11-21T12:05:00.000-08:00

It's times like these that really test me. I'm sure every college student goes through what I'm going through this entire semester. Why am I in school? Why should I bother studying? What use is it? Will I even remember what I'm studying 5 years from today? 10 years?

Then followed by more questions:

What do I want to do w/ my life? What if I'm just a complete failure and I live off my parents for life? Or forget what I want to do w/ my life, what the heck would I even do after I graduate? Will I graduate at this rate? Is it just a temporary motivational cold that'll pass?

All of these questions not only plague me but they immoblize me. Without direction, I don't see any reason to move. With 10 paths in front of you, why get started on one if you're not sure if it'll take you to the right destination. After all, if its wrong, then you have to walk back over the path, then start over on the new path. So I sit in front of the 10 path fork, and I'm trying to decide what path I actually want to take. Of course, it is impossible for me to do so because I've no idea where I want to arrive. I've no idea what destination I want to hit. I realize I'm not completely sure what my long-term goals are. And I've no short-term goals that can augment my lacking long-term goals.

The funny thing is that I was once so sure of what I would do. I thought I had all the answers. I know I don't, and I always to some degree knew that I didn't have all the answers to life. Imagine that! I don't have all the answers! Uncertainty renders me immobile.

I was reading one of my favorite bloggers opinionistas and her recent entry has really striked me as senseful. All this work we do, does it really matter? But what if we don't do it? All the pseudo stress she puts herself under, and her dedication to her job, is it all worth it? Will she even remember it a few years from now? It also puts into question, just how important is it that we remember the things we do? I mean I must of done many significant things as a baby that makes me capable of walking about today, but I certainly don't remember it.

With graduation fast approaching, after spending basically my whole life in school, the swimming pool imitation of the ocean, I don't know if i can swim in the real world, the salty ocean with pounding waves. All I can do is stand here stunted before a fork of 10+ paths and no game plan. What am i going to do w/ my life?

And sadly I know, I'll still be sitting here tomorrow, pondering the same sad question that I just can't answer. What if I never answer it?

You mean she actually has to say yes!?

2005-11-20T20:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here quivering while I hold onto my phone. For me, no matter how many times I've done it, calling a girl to ask her out for the first time is just so stressful. People keep saying, "what's the worse that can happen?" And then they say, "the worse she can do is say no."

I thought of a couple of scenarios...

1)I call her making a complete fool of myself. I stutter and stumble over all my words. I can't think of anything to say so I end up on the phone while it is completely silent. Every second will feel like an hour, then i will randomly start blurting things out... talking randomly w/o purpose or direction before finally just hanging up and throwing my phone out the window. As my phone is falling to the ground, I can hear her scream, "No I will not go out with you, and never call me again you psycho motherfu*ker!"

2) I call her and I suavely ask her out. I don't stumble or stutter over my words. I think of all the most witty things to say. She's laughing so hard her stomach could burst. Then I smoothly ask her to eat a restaurant of my choice, to which she says, " Aww your so cute, you're like a brother to me. I don't know if i can eat at the [specified place] at the [specified time]. I'm actually busy all week, then I'm leaving town. Maybe when I come back I'll give you a call... you crack me up so much, anyway, I gotta do some work before my stomach bursts! ta-ta!" click.

Of course, two weeks later I'll inevitably bump into her somewhere, and we'll have the most completely awkward exchange ever, and I won't be able to bear it and I'll climb up to the Campanille, break the bars open with my skull then jump to my death.

Conclusion:
After writing this, I decided that there is no way I could call her. The alternative of never knowing a woman's touch, laughter, or warmth is better than any of the two above scenarios. I've resigned to my fate of dying a lonely old man.

Study? I can't bring myself to do it

2005-11-19T23:14:00.000-08:00

I've worked damn hard so that I can study at Berkeley. Now that I am here, I've no desire to study. I don't know how to explain my lacking motivation in academics. I'm not depressed or anything, but I've just no desire to study. I see no negative or positive consequence to my studying. I've always been into learning for the sake of learning, but I don't even know what I want to learn about right now. My day now just consists of sleeping, eating, playing tennis, working out, and socializing. Occassionally I might go to class and sometimes I read a bit. My best friend says that I'm really just a walking stomach, penis, and mouth. I laughed really hard because in some ways, he's completely right.

The Woman is Taking Over...

2005-11-19T03:35:00.000-08:00

Epilogue to last story...

I returned home to find:

The furniture at home has been rearranged. There are pictures (edited by Bryce) of all of us including her posted on the wall. Theres a vase in the center of the room w/ my tennis balls in it. In my room is her various sheets of green, pink, and brown laid out on my bed. She's taking over...

Qing the Magician. Eric, Justice.
-

Mike, Strength. Luis, Ace of Swords.
-

Bryce, the Fool. Woman (self declared new roommate), judgement.
-

It's as easy as 1 2 3

2005-11-19T02:07:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a friend's place after watching Blow. I had originally asked my friend to come with me, but she did something annoying and I just decided that I didn't want my friend w/ my sane friends (I think its bad to mix the sane w/ the insane).

here's what happen (vent alert):

I ask far in advance for friend to join me and my friends for a movie, namely Blow. She agrees. I then say that we will go right after I work out. An hour later, on the way back from working out, I call her and say that she should be ready soon because I'm on the way back. Then she tells me she's halfway across the Earth and will be at least 45 minutes as she has JUST sat down at Restaurant Halfway Across the Earth to eat. In fact, my roommate and friend had just ordered. Forty-five minutes would be fine except it takes longer than 45 min. to walk halfway across the globe. After calculating just the walking time to get back from halfway across the Earth, not to mention for the food to arrive, be eaten, and paid for, I decided it'd be far too long.

So I ask, "Why are you halfway across the planet when you know we're watching a movie soon?"

"I didn't know when you were going to be back... I thought I had more time."

(at this point im thinking, even if i take 3 hrs to workout, you still cant make it halfway across the globe and back to where we live.)

So I say, "Why didn't you eat somewhere closer, just walking back alone and we'll be super late."

"Well I probably can't make it back then."

"Okay, anyway, i gotta go, bye." click.

Thinking back, to her statement of having more time - I already know in my head that she couldn't believe that she had more time. That leaves several possibilities...

a) she doesn't give a damn.
b) she's purposely trying to get back at me for something and/or she is mad at me for something I may have done/implied/said, yet she has never brought up, so I'll never know
c) she stop liking me and decided fuck it, i dont want him as a friend either.
d) she really did believe she had more time and she's a complete and total ditz.

When people ask me what psycho behavior consists of, this is what I think it is. Of course, its not that big of deal except that it comes with a one-two punch of hot and cold behavior and sporadic withdrawal of affection. The affection returns when I'm talking to an attractive female in public.

I decided to give some easy step by step directions for all those girls who are trying to snatch a quality boyfriend.

1. Be an angel to him, his friends, and his family.
2. Be a devil in bed (think Penelope Cruz in Blow).
3. Be a loyal devil. (i.e. his eyes only)

Bonus Points: Apologize when you fuck up.

What category are you?

2005-11-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

I've decided that there are four (+1) types of women when it comes to relationships and dating. While I'm sure there are sub-categories and sub-types, I think this sums it up:

Type#1: Undatable, religiously fanatic. Ultra conservative. Sexually unexciting.
Type#2: Datable, commitment phobic, pseudo-relationship seeking. Sexually adept.
Type#3: Genuinely seeking relationship, commitment, and a rewarding relationship built upon friendship, mutual respect, and good communication. Sexually inefficient and/or unexciting.
Type#4: Psycho.
Type#5: Perfect. Does not exist.

Now I decided to survey my friends to see which type they would like to date...

Friend#1: Personally, I prefer type#3 that isn't sexually "inefficient," but I haven't met one yet.

What about your girlfriend?

I don't know if I can pick her type. What she wants really depends on if she is on her period or not.

Friend#2: Are you kidding! There's only two types of women: ugly and hot. Since I won't do ugly, that only leaves hot and I've never met a hot girl thats not psycho.

Friend#3: Whats the difference between type#4 and the other types?

Rusty

2005-11-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

With 3 weeks of downtime, I really didn't expect much. I loaded up a standard screen of four sit n' go'es and I proceed to deny my own fundamentals losing two of them right away w/ ATs to AJ in the relatively early rounds. A hand that I should be patient enough to throw away or lose minimum with. After losing about $120 in sitngo'es I went on to play cash games. Luckily I did okay there and garnered $200. Three weeks of not playing shouldn't put me back too much. Small stakes poker should still be very beatable. It really is hard to tell how rusty I've become.

Cupid, can i borrow your arrow?

2005-11-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

I'm a silly boy with a silly crush. This crush is like a psychological disease where relapes are common and often. I know that it is my most enduring and unhealthy crush, but I just don't know how to rid it from me. Talking about it relieves it somewhat in that it makes me realize how absolutely ridiculous and foolish it is. Writing about it now even gives me some perspective. As my friend says about it, "man, you're a fool. period." And every rational part of me agrees entirely. I can even explain how its irrational and senseless, yet its like the guilty pleasure that never leaves you and is always ready to rear its ugly head. Why do I continue to have feelings even if I'm sure she doesn't have the same feelings toward me? Oh, what can I do?

Finding the sane ones in an insane world

2005-11-13T14:18:00.000-08:00

Things to find out within the first 3 dates...

1. The person should come from a 2 parent household where both parents communicate well with each other and are relatively happy.
2. The person's household income should be at least middle class or upper middle class.
3. The person's parents should be educated. At least one parent should hold at least a college diploma.
4. There should be no incidents of depression, bipolar, or other mood disorders within the persons immediate family and preferably extended family as well.
5. No incidents of suicide within the immediate family and preferably the extended family.
6. The person should have symmetrical facial features, clean and clear skin, healthy hair, big eyes, medium to large lips, and (in women) a chin that narrows slighly (in men, a strong jawline).
7. The person should be within the norm in height (preferably on the taller side), exercise several times a week, and have a favorable hip-to-waist ratio.
8. The person should be relatively intelligent (as judged by you).
9. The person should not be a registered republican or a religious fanatic unless by sheer accident or youthful ignorance (certain religions such as christianity, or catholicism should be eliminated as much as possible).
10. The person should have a favorable future potential earnings.
11. The person should have a pleasant personality and get along well with closest friends and family.
12. The person should be able to communicate her wants, needs, and desires in a relationship well.
13. The person should be college educated.
14. The person should be void of any genetic disorders or risks. The person should not be a carrier to any genetic diseases that put future children at risk.
15. Alcoholism and drug addiction should not run in the person's family or affect anyone in their immediate family. (The person themselves should not be an alcoholic or drug addict as well)

Many of these criteria are not within the person's control. While these things are not in the person's control, they help to greatly reduce people who are predisposed to having problematic relationships. These criteria also eliminate many poor candidates for raising a family of healthy, intelligent children. Of course, employing strictly to these criteria many eliminate good candidates for raising a family as well, but is much more likely to eliminate poor candidates. For example, a person of good genetic quality and that meets all of the other neccessary conditions may have grown up in a poor environment, but because of his/her positive qualities of endurance of pain, discipline, and resourcefulness may have managed to grow up relatively sane in an insane environment, therefore could still qualify as a good candidate. Because of this it is recommended that these conditions be employed almost all of the time, and be shown flexiblity in light of new information that would suggest the effect of any one of these conditions would be nullified. These are realistic conditions, though hard to come by, and even though I recognize their importance, I do not meet all of these conditions myself.

Tennis is my drug for a lifetime

2005-11-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

What is it about tennis that makes me like playing so much? It certainly doesn't make financial sense. Tennis as a sport is relatively more costly than some others. For example, you need quality shoes to protect your feet, rackets, racket strings, large amounts of water, tennis grip wrap, and sunscreen. In addition, I've had to do more laundry since I run out of socks and shirts so quickly. Laundry costs money too! All the expenses add up making tennis just an unrealistic hobby. Unlike poker with potential for monetary gain as well as self-satisfaction, tennis has no potential for monetary gain.

The obvious benefit that I reap is exercise. I know this cannot be the only or true reason that I play tennis since there are many more inexpensive ways to get exercise, such as swimming. Another benefit is competition and competing. But I can get that same feeling from poker or any other sport.

The only think I can think of is how tennis makes me feel. The feelings of pleasure I derive from hitting a well placed shot or a clean passing shot. A crisp volley, a well placed serve, or even a long rally. No wonder they call the center of the racket the sweet spot. Hitting the sweet spot feels so sweet. Tennis is almost like a drug to me. Like all other drugs, it's self destructive in a financial sense, but highly rewarding in the euphoric feelings for the user.

I also think a prerequisite to playing tennis well is coordinating your body to work together. I can think of few sports that require the full and successful coordiation of all the muscles in your body while on the move and watching a moving target. Eye-hand coordination is a premium. Also, its a sport unlike football, that doesn't require brute strength, but a lot and a lot of efficiency. The better you work all your core muscles together, the more accurate and powerful your strokes. For example, to hit a powerhouse forehand, you need very good footwork, knee bend, and the flexing of all your leg muscles at exactly the right timing. The weight shift along with the complete torquing of your upper body then rapid uncoiling of your entire body generates so much power and racket head speed that the tennis ball can be hit at tremendous speeds and still be kept in the court. Strong oblique and durable abdominal muscles as well as back muscles are constantly called upon to generate this kind of power. The feeling I derive from successfully coordinating all my muscles and hitting the sweet spot of my racket is undescribable. Shoulder muslces, rhythm, a lot of leg thrust allows for powerhouse serve. Chest muscles and leg muscles coordinating very quickly due to how fast the ball comes to you while you are at the net is also very difficult. There's such a variety of shots in tennis, it is hard to work on all of it. For example the touch and feel required of hitting a dropshot is completely different from hitting a running forehand yet requires every bit the same muscles used in fantastically different ways. The eye hand coordination, reflexes, and sheer athleticism that goes into each and every shot makes tennis, in my opinion, the most enjoyable sport.

Tennis also teaches discipline. I know of no other sport where not playing punishes you so dramatically. Tennis is a year round sport requiring constant honing. Nobody can coordinate their body so efficiently, move so swifty, or time their shots so accurately without constantly honing those skills. You simply cannot coordinate all the intricate muslces in your body so well without some finetuning. I think there's something musical in the rhythm of tennis.

Another one of tennis's biggest appeals is how important strategy is in tennis. You're constantly playing the percentages. Hitting your high percentages shots as often as possible while forcing the other person to hit low percentage shots. Protecting your territory while widening the opponents. While the actual dimensions of the court does not change much, sound placement and variety of spins can make the court feel like a football stadium. How can you ever reach every ball before it bounces twice when you have that much space to cover? Anticipation, sound strategy, and even an intuitive understanding of game theory would be immeasurably helpful to any tennis player at almost all levels of the game. Only true beginners with barely the ability to strike the ball or direct the ball where they want it would not be able to work much of a strategy. As you improve and add more dimensions and variety to your game, the more strategies you will have available to you. The more you think about how your opponent likes to play versus how you like to play, the more you can match yourself in a way that becomes frustrating to your opponent. I would know how frustrating it is because I've played people who have worked me like a puppet in a puppet show that sometimes you just have to scream and still you'll lose. At the same time the feelings that I derive from working another player with sound strategy is also undescribable. While there will be very few times that you can work an equally skilled opponent like a puppet in a puppet show, the long waits in between and the dream and goal of doing so makes me want to play everyday.

Unlike football or many other sports, tennis is often played into very old age. I can't think of any other sport that holds tournaments for people of age 30+, all the way to 80+ years of age. Strategy and efficiency from sound technique allow even aging players to be ageless on the court. I remember when I was at tennis academy, there was this one 12 year old that could play as well or sometimes even better than I could. He could generate more pace than I could as well as place his shots more strategically. It was scary and shocking watching the ball come off his strings. He simply coordinated all of his body so much more efficiently than me even though I was probably stronger than him in every aspect. Tennis, for me, is a sport I can improve at and play for a lifetime.

Foreign in America and foreign in China - doomed to being an everlasting foreigner

2005-10-31T13:22:00.000-08:00

"Citizens by birth, they [Chinese Americans] had attended American schools, and many have even graduated from college. As citizens, they expected to have greater opportunities available to them. But increasingly they became aware of the racial barriers errected against them and they woke up from "an illusion." Many felt disappointed and plunged into "emotional disturbance." Some found "satisfaction in returning to their own group," insisting they were "very proud to belong to the Chinese race." Many decided they should struggle for their rights as citizens, while others gave up their hopes of becoming full and equal citizens. All of them felt they were "strangers." "

"Chinese in America had realized for a long time how their situation here was tied to developments in China. The very political weakness of the Chinese government conditioned their treatment here and influenced the anti-Chiense immigration policies of the U.S. government."

--
Time for class, more thoughts on this later.

You can just feel it inching up

2005-10-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's right, back to my usual poker post. Today was the first day in like two weeks that I actually had some time to play. The more I think about poker, the more I realize that poker is not about talent, although Negreanu makes a very good case for it. Poker is about discipline. I truly believe anybody can be a profitable player. I think almost ANYONE can make at least $20-30 dollars an hour playing poker. The thing about poker that is different from other ventures, businesses, or sports is that you can select your own opponents and play them for money (esp w/ the help of internet poker). You don't have to match up against experts, experienced pros, or talented geniuses. You can match up against regular joes who are slightly or much worse than you and pull a profit on a consistent basis. Why play poker? Reason no.1: With good game selection, there's a lot of money up for grabs. And I like Doyle's argument, somebody's got to have the money in the pot, why not me?!

(Now this does not mean I think anybody can beat high stakes cash games or win the World Series of Poker with just discipline. While you can be profitable with strong discipline, to win high stakes poker or the WSOP requires many sets of skills and talent is definately, in my opinion, a prerequisite.)

With this theme in mind, I've begun to mold myself as a Sit N' Go specialist. It's a game that, at least for me, I do quite good at and rarely steam/tilt. Steaming and tilt is the opposite of discipline and I'm glad to have it eliminated from my game. It is also a game that is all about patience and folding. I use to play mostly short handed games which is about reading ability and aggression than it is about folding. Now I'm working on my biggest weakness in poker and in life - patience. And SNG survival is all about patience.

Some jibberish

2005-10-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have a confession. I don't really know what to write about right now. I just decided to write something. I have that weird feeling inside of me that compels me to express SOMETHING, even if it really is NOTHING.

I'm home right now and I always miss home and my mom, family, and so forth. But for some reason, I also miss Berkeley in a small way. I don't miss my tiny bed,but I do miss having lots of people to play tennis with. There's no one here that plays tennis!

I had brunch/lunch with Diana and Tony today. For the most part at Berkeley, I think about Berkeley people. The same ones that I encounter everyday - in and out. But coming back today and having lunch with them and just random talking, I realize I really do miss these guys. Each one still the same as always.

I also really look forward to seeing my cousins tomorrow. I really really miss them. I use to talk to them at least once a week. I'd announce and attempt to rationally defend all sorts of immature and childish theories I have on life while they patiently listened and laughed. In a life zone just ahead of me, they had a decade of experience and wisdom of which I could borrow from whether it be about school, girls, work, or the general stuff of life.

I have a SECOND confession. I haven't been playing poker as fiendishly as I should be. Starting this coming Monday, I decided I'm going to put in a solid week of solid poker. I've been playing tennis like a madman. I think the theme of my life right now is tennis. A ball, a racket, and a court - the necessities of my life.

So tomorrow, I've lunch with my mom - one on one. I've much to update her even though I talk to her on the phone nearly everyday. Then tomorrow night, I've a BBQ with my cousins. I get to see what they are all up 2. And lily- shes getting married - my beautiful cousin!

Sunday. I intend to have lunch w/ a friend. In the afternoon, I've scheduled tennis with an old tennis buddy. Sunday night, relax, MAYBE study (though i doubt it). Monday morning I fly back and get back into class and poker.

Stress Build-up

2005-10-11T01:30:00.000-07:00

I've been studying a relatively healthy amount for my exam on Wed. until I found out I actually have TWO exams. I realy really thought I only had one, I dont know how this happend. It's really quite funny for now, but I can feel the stress lurking in the courner of my mind. Dont you just hate that feeling?

I haven't had breakfast in a long time

2005-10-10T15:36:00.000-07:00

It's always a pleasant thing.

Forget class and sleep in

2005-10-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when the alarm clock goes off in the wee hours of the morning, I can't help but think, would it really be such a big deal if I just slept in? To justify my need for extra sleep, I would think of all sorts of rationalizations. I would think, what are the chances that my professor is going to say something to today that isn't already written in a book somewhere? Why get up to hear him say stuff I can read in a book? Of course, the truth is, although most of what our professor's teach are written somewhere, it's still quite an effort to go find that book. As for professors that teach directly from the textbook they assign (I think they're totally lame), I rarely bother to go to lecture. I think there's little difference between reading them on blacklightning or reading a more efficient version of what they are saying in the textbook. The only real difference is that in person, you can ask probing questions, clarifying questions, or other general questions. But the thing is, you're not really suppose to ask questions in lecture. Those questions are suppose to be saved for discussion section.

Now consider another point, when you don't get enough sleep the night before, the effects of drowsiness and reduced concentration are felt immediately and throughout the next 16 waking hours. Some would even argue that it is dangerous to go a full day w/o sleep. When you don't attend lecture, do you feel any immediate negative effects? What about positive effects from attending lecture? Do you feel smarter, wiser, or find any sudden insights? There's really no immediate negative effects or immediate positive effects afterall, everyone knows that learning is a process. If that's the case, then I argue you should just stay in to sleep because learning is a process, but sleeping is the prerequisite. I mean they minus well write it onto the prequisites list because everyone knows that w/o a good nights sleep nobody can concentrate. I propose they write, "No learning allowed unless you fulfilled the below prerequisites: attend 8-10+ hours in your bed with you eyes closed while keeping your breathing steady and your body completely and utterly still while letting darkness swallow your consciousness. Repeat every 16-24 hours."

Pokerstars free blog tournament

2005-10-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

I have registered to play in the
Online Poker Blogger Championship!

This event is powered by PokerStars.

Registration code: 6575416

Check out this New Yorker article about the Ivy League Admissions and what it means to be an Ivy Leaguer... http://www.newyorker.com/critics/atlarge/articles/051010crat_atlarge

Silly Parents

2005-09-28T13:09:00.000-07:00

My dad keeps suggesting that I really should get into real estate.

I'm like, "Dad, you need to have money to get into real estate and frankly, I don't have enough of that."

My dad said, "It's okay, you can have all my money to do real estate"

In shock, "ALL? ALL your hard earned money?"

Nods smugly like he knows something that I don't. "All," he repeats.

I say, "What if I fail then you'll be broke as cow!"

Dad responds, "You won't fail, cuz my fortune teller said that you'll do real well in real estate!"

(I swear I didn't pay his fortune teller, but he's risking his life's earnings based on a fortune teller. silly silly! I love my dad.)

Bad Ass Government Spy!

2005-09-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

I had this idea that I thought was pretty bad ass. I decided that instead of playing 4 tables on one monitor, I'll get a second vid card and play 8 tables on 2 screens. Then before I start playing I'll wear a suit and put on Matrix style sunglasses so I'll look like I'm a government spy doing secret governmental work in my dorm room. Now, isn't that just a bad ass image?

I think I might have a test tomorrow...

2005-09-21T00:23:00.000-07:00

I think I might have a test tomorrow, but I've spent the last many hours reading more poker books. I think I can boast that I've read (or looked at it and decided it was too beginner for me) every single poker book on Hold'em in the Barnes and Noble on Shattuck. I think theres 5 shelf loads worth of books of probably 40-50 different books. Ten to fifteen of those books I own and reread all the time.

(If you want to know which ones I think are best, they are:

Dan Harrington's two books, Doyle Brunson's super system, Sklansky's Hold'em for Advanced Players, and Theory of Poker. I might have missed some here, but also Barry Greenstein's book is thoughtprovoking. )

One of my roommates would sometimes sit watching my online poker playing sessions from the very beginning to the end. He acts extremely impressed by the numbers I generate. I don't know how many times I called out the other players hands for him only to have myself be right. When he looks shocked, baffled, and absolutely impressed, I act nonchalant, but really, inside, I'm as a giddy as a schoolboy. I like hearing his questions, "How'd you do that?"

"C'mon tell me..."

I think I skip and hop to class on days that he watches me win... I mean that look is priceless! Actually, I think my test is in several hours... no skipping or hopping for me tomorrow!

You lying bullshitter

2005-09-18T23:36:00.000-07:00

"What we say is mostly lies or bullshit. But the voice is there, the gesture, the posture, the facial expression, the psychosomatic language." -my psych textbook.

I really liked this quote because that is my exact theory when it comes to people. I think the weirdest shit can come out of your mouth and it doesn't matter. People are judging by exactly that what is listed above: the voice, facial expressions, posture, etc. That's why my theory of hitting on women was not to fuss over what to say, but only how you say it and how you express yourself. She's not judging you by the logic of your statements. There's no logic to flirtation anyway. Later, as people get to know you better, then logic and the character of what you're actually saying matter. That's just my opinion at least.

I wonder how I'd test my theory?

My thought was to hit on a bunch of randomly selected girls and to use the same exact speech patterns, body language, gestures and so forth, and say a bunch of unacceptable things and logically unsound statements. Of course, I never select people to meet on a random basis, nor can I reproduce the same exact patterns of behavior exactly the same way everytime.

I hit all my ROYAL FLUSH #2 with the QJ suited again!

2005-09-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

No-limit Texas Hold'em $100+$8 (real money), hand #1,256,491,057
Atlanta Single Table Tournament, 11 Sep 2005 11:21 AM

View Previous | Next hand for this table.

Seat 1: andrewlinden ($3,915 in chips)
Seat 3: blink704 ($2,655 in chips)
Seat 4: Changeling82 ($3,935 in chips)
Seat 5: etc5588ct [QC,JC] ($2,400 in chips)
Seat 6: ProomNuts ($2,570 in chips)
Seat 7: Ratazana ($2,490 in chips)
Seat 8: GRANT25 ($2,470 in chips)
Seat 9: mouse56 ($2,210 in chips)
Seat 10: christo25 ($2,355 in chips)

ANTES/BLINDS
Changeling82 posts blind ($15), etc5588ct posts blind ($30).

PRE-FLOP
ProomNuts folds, Ratazana folds, GRANT25 folds, mouse56 folds, christo25 folds, andrewlinden folds, blink704 folds, Changeling82 calls $15, etc5588ct checks.

FLOP [board cards JD,10C,AC ]
Changeling82 bets $30, etc5588ct bets $120, Changeling82 calls $90.

TURN [board cards JD,10C,AC,8D ]
Changeling82 bets $60, etc5588ct calls $60.

RIVER [board cards JD,10C,AC,8D,KC ]
Changeling82 bets $60, etc5588ct bets $400, Changeling82 folds.

SHOWDOWN
etc5588ct wins $880.

SUMMARY
Dealer: blink704
Pot: $880
andrewlinden, loses $0
blink704, loses $0
Changeling82, loses $270
etc5588ct, bets $610, collects $880, net $270
ProomNuts, loses $0
Ratazana, loses $0
GRANT25, loses $0
mouse56, loses $0
christo25, loses $0

Online Aid Tournament - 29 Place

2005-09-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

Online Aid Tournament
NoLimit TexasHoldem (Real Money)
Buy-in: $20+$0

Tournament Started: Sep 10, 2:00 PM ET (6:00 PM GMT)

Entrants: 286
Max players: 2400

I placed in the money. NO.29th.

Time flies but where?

2005-09-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

The thing with schooling @ Berkeley is that I never know where my time goes. I keep wondering... why is it that I feel like I haven't had time to do ANY reading or assignments? So far, I know I've done two things for sure. Go to class and sleep. In between, I have all this time, but no idea where it's been going. In fact, I haven't even played poker for like a week! I feel like I'm still continuing life the way it was like during summer except during the summer I had time to play poker!

I'm sick and dying and feel like I'm on drugs

2005-09-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

I recently caught this disastrous cold. Being sick really feels like shit. I don't even like to socialize while I'm sick or play poker for that matter! And I went to my psy101 discussion today only to find the door locked. I forget again! Section doesn't meet. The only reason I went was because my clinical psychology section met on Wed. morning and I missed it thinking that it did not meet. Berkeley is screwing with my head already!

Despite being so sick, I've been rushing three fraternities. Axio, Lambdas, and the Pineapples. I don't know if I'd join or not, but they really are so generous with the free food. A college student can live off of the free food that's given out during the first couple weeks of school. My roommmate and I have dinner for the entire week scheduled based on which organizations are offering the best foods at the most convenient times.

Grant me freshman status

2005-08-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

First day of class @ Berkeley starts today and I pulled an absolute freshman move already. Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors commonly know that there is usually no section the first week of class. Despite previously knowing this, I still somehow went to my morning 10AM Section. Ten to fifteen min. into the class I realized that the reason the Graduate Student Instructor hasn't shown up is because section doesn't meet! AHh, I'm already acting like a freshman!

1st Place

2005-08-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

5+0.5 NL Texas Holdem
NoLimit TexasHoldem (Real Money)
Buy-in: $5+$0.50

Tournament Started: Aug 20, 7:30 AM ET (11:30 AM GMT)
Tournament Ended: Aug 20, 10:48 AM ET (2:48 PM GMT)
Entrants: 139
Max players: 1000

1 etc5588ct real $208.51
2 maggadog real $139
3 biteme01 real $86.87
4 montek real $62.55
5 dewboy12 real $55.60
6 vensolares real $45.17
7 lmbb real $34.75
8 Stokkand real $27.80
9 expackrat real $20.85
10 fred11086 real $13.90
11 PedJan

I'm happy to have one first! (even if it is just a small tournament.)

Slowplaying Aces

2005-08-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

I knew the first position short stacked raiser had a big PP. This is why I wanted to raise him because I knew he'd give me all his money. But, he was so short stacked his money wasn't worth it so I took a calculated risk to let other people in the pot for a minimum raise. Another guy called w/ A10 and made the mistake of hitting his T. When the preflop raiser bet, i just called, then A10 man raises, preflop raiser moves all in, then i re-raise all in.

Seat 1: dlam2k ($139 in chips)
Seat 2: etc5588ct [AD,AH] ($172 in chips)
Seat 3: tubs51 ($490 in chips)
Seat 4: griffybets ($250 in chips)
Seat 5: dgnr8 ($391 in chips)
Seat 6: Bulldogg357 ($384 in chips)
Seat 7: mixnitup ($49 in chips)
Seat 8: rumrum68 ($313 in chips)
Seat 9: bru92 ($181 in chips)
Seat 10: 1FullBoat ($67 in chips)

ANTES/BLINDS
rumrum68 posts blind ($2), bru92 posts blind ($4).

PRE-FLOP
1FullBoat bets $8, dlam2k folds, etc5588ct calls $8, tubs51 folds, griffybets folds, dgnr8 calls $8, Bulldogg357 folds, mixnitup folds, rumrum68 folds, bru92 folds.

FLOP [board cards 2S,8H,10D ]
1FullBoat bets $30, etc5588ct calls $30, dgnr8 bets $100, 1FullBoat calls $29 and is all-in, etc5588ct bets $134 and is all-in, dgnr8 calls $64.

TURN [board cards 2S,8H,10D,4D ]

RIVER [board cards 2S,8H,10D,4D,7S ]

SHOWDOWN
etc5588ct shows [ AD,AH ]
dgnr8 shows [ AC,10C ]
1FullBoat shows [ QS,QD ]
etc5588ct wins $210, etc5588ct wins $204.

am i a poker fiend?

2005-08-01T02:27:00.000-07:00

I found out that I was within the top 50 point earners for my online poker room for yesterday. Basically the more you play, the more points you earn. I spent most of this weekend playing poker, but apparently my pokerroom gives free money to those who place in the top 50. 1st gets $60, 2nd gets $50, then its $45, $43, $40, and so forth in that approximate interval. I got $28!

"
PLAYER POINTS PAYBACK POKER

$1,000 divided daily between the top 50 earners of player points based on Texas Hold'em, Omaha, 7 Card Stud, Tournament and Chinese Poker games. Click here for yesterday's winners.

Congratulations to yesterday's winners:
On the list? Enter my account and claim your bonus now!
Player Player Points Prize
1. mastere10 2,085 $60
2. Cute_Girl 2,016 $50
3. piempsta 1,961 $45
4. loganh80 1,579 $43
5. menace14x 1,376 $40
6. chino555 1,328 $38
7. uvaprofessor 1,311 $36
8. MontanaGal1 1,185 $34
9. bobette 1,161 $32
10. mattsby 1,147 $30
11. strabes 1,145 $29
12. etc5588ct 1,124 $28
"

What's he got?

2005-07-31T00:20:00.000-07:00

Texas Hold'em $10-$10 NL (real money), hand #1,123,102,760
Table Stockholm, 31 Jul 2005 12:20 AM

View Previous hand for this table.

Seat 1: texwebb69 ($2,403 in chips)
Seat 2: KoolHand x ($970 in chips)
Seat 3: etc5588ct [AC,8S] ($1,070 in chips)
Seat 4: NcOhRrCiAsL ($1,880 in chips)
Seat 5: ruffmcgruff ($652 in chips)
Seat 6: spitzer10 ($637 in chips)
Seat 7: jaba_dino ($70 in chips)
Seat 8: ALDAVIS420 ($504 in chips)
Seat 9: Felicitatis ($541 in chips)
Seat 10: tx_hustler ($1,095 in chips)

ANTES/BLINDS
NcOhRrCiAsL posts blind ($5), ruffmcgruff posts blind ($10).

PRE-FLOP
spitzer10 calls $10, jaba_dino folds, ALDAVIS420 folds, Felicitatis folds, tx_hustler folds, texwebb69 folds, KoolHand x folds, etc5588ct bets $50, NcOhRrCiAsL folds, ruffmcgruff folds, spitzer10 calls $40.

FLOP [board cards AH,2C,QH ]
spitzer10 checks, etc5588ct checks.

TURN [board cards AH,2C,QH,6S ]
spitzer10 bets $187, etc5588ct folds.

SHOWDOWN
spitzer10 wins $299.

SUMMARY
Dealer: etc5588ct
Pot: $302, (including rake: $3)
texwebb69, loses $0
KoolHand x, loses $0
etc5588ct, loses $50
NcOhRrCiAsL, loses $5
ruffmcgruff, loses $10
spitzer10, bets $237, collects $299, net $62
jaba_dino, loses $0
ALDAVIS420, loses $0
Felicitatis, loses $0
tx_hustler, loses $0

My first ROYAL flush

2005-07-30T05:27:00.000-07:00

Absolute stone call nuts. I hit it the first time today

Why I dont like limping with big pocket pairs

2005-07-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

Texas Hold'em $4-$4 NL (real money), hand #1,120,389,995
Table Lausanne, 30 Jul 2005 03:29 AM

Seat 2: kneegar1 ($768 in chips)
Seat 4: tevez206 ($699 in chips)
Seat 5: etc5588ct [5S,8S] ($1,233 in chips)
Seat 6: piedestal2 ($394 in chips)
Seat 7: FourTensWins ($399 in chips)
Seat 8: akmofo12 ($94 in chips)
Seat 9: Archangel0 ($86 in chips)

ANTES/BLINDS
etc5588ct posts blind ($2), piedestal2 posts blind ($4).

PRE-FLOP
FourTensWins calls $4, akmofo12 folds, Archangel0 folds, kneegar1 folds, tevez206 folds, etc5588ct calls $2, piedestal2 checks.

FLOP [board cards QD,8C,5D ]
etc5588ct checks, piedestal2 checks, FourTensWins bets $25, etc5588ct bets $75, piedestal2 folds, FourTensWins bets $150, etc5588ct bets $1,154 and is all-in, FourTensWins calls $220 and is all-in.

TURN [board cards QD,8C,5D,10S ]

RIVER [board cards QD,8C,5D,10S,AH ]

SHOWDOWN
etc5588ct shows [ 5S,8S ]
FourTensWins shows [ KC,KH ]
etc5588ct wins $834, etc5588ct wins $799.

SUMMARY
Dealer: tevez206
Pot: $1,636, (including rake: $3)
kneegar1, loses $0
tevez206, loses $0
etc5588ct, bets $1,233, collects $1,633, net $400
piedestal2, loses $4
FourTensWins, loses $399
akmofo12, loses $0
Archangel0, loses $0

Where are you relationship articles?

2005-07-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last hours looking for an online article on "relationship problems, problem communication, or relationship dissolution" from any popular magazine with exceptions of psychology today. It's for my class but it is much harder than I anticipated. So many articles in popular online magazines are about hooking up, sex techniques, and casual dating. No wonder people struggle to stay in relationships.

Better lucky than good

2005-07-27T03:34:00.000-07:00

I wonder what's going through this guy's mind.

(This is play between me and the other big stack @ pokerchamps)

Cutoff seat raises and I call from SB with 55. Heads up play.

Me: 5h5c

Flop: 5d As Qs

I check, he bets the pot size, and I raise him 4x the pot, and then he promptly goes all in. At this point I think, for sure he has an A or AQ two pair even. I quickly call .
Turn brings a 10.
River a 3.

Spades didn't hit so I effectively trapped him for all his money.

Damn fool turns over KcJs. He re-raised my MASSIVE re-raise all in and he didn't even have a sensible holding. In fact he was drawing to 4 outs. That lucky lucky fool. Does he even know how bad he was playing?!

Did he really? really really?

2005-07-27T03:27:00.000-07:00

I keep asking myself this. I'm in the Big Blind and the button calls and the small blind calls.

Flop comes K 2 K

I have 94, but I decided that a flop like that misses everyone, so I made a bet at it. $8 into a $10 dollar pot (blinds were $1/3) to deter an A high from calling. The man calls (SB folds) AND announces that he has trip Ks.

The turn comes a 6 and I say, I check to trip Ks then.
He quickly checks behind me.

River brings a 9. I think, now I have two pair and he didn't play like he had Ks. I value bet $10 and he announces that he's all in for $30 more. I didn't believe him, but I just couldn't call.

It's just a small pot in the grand scheme of things, but I just had to know if he had it. So I asked him, what did you have that hand? He claims that he had K 9. I thought, so he had a full house? But I had a nine in my hand, what are the chances he has one too and also has the K. And since he had the K, why did he check the turn?

I keep thinking, die he really? really really? really really actually have K9?
I decided that he was full of $hit. I decided though that my laydown was still justified because he probably had A9 or Q9.

I folded to him at the time because he was a really tight player in general. But he was also running low stacked. I think he was lying between his teeth. Damn poker players!

I won over 500 dollars this weekend but almost broke my neck!

2005-07-25T01:08:00.000-07:00

While my poker play at Morongo Casino this weekend was facinating and I learned a lot on what adjustments to make to my game against a table full of mostly fish, the more awful thing is I could have died this Saturday night. Here's how it happen:

On the way to Morongo Casino, Randy and I were sitting in Steve's new (1 week old) car. He was driving a bit recklessly, although he did get us there in record speed. Steve weaved in and out of lanes at up to 100mph+. Randy and I were scared shitless most of the time because Steve rarely checks his blind spot. I saved us from dying at least 3 times because I check his blind spot ahead of time, weaving my head from side to side at speeds you cannot imagine then quickly warning him about the car he's about to ram at 100+ mph. Adrenaline, fear of losing my life, and the thrill of gambling can be quite motivating!

You'd think that's how I almost break my neck and get killed right? WRONG! At Morongo, I did quite well at first, I worked my stack up to about $400 from a $100 buy-in. Then lost 200 of it back before we left. (1.Trips to full house, 2.JJ to KK)

I'm up $100. We are heading back and Steve is driving just as recklessly before. This time I'm tired and I'm not weaving my head in and out. We're driving further and further away from the fish at Morongo Casino. Randy makes a foreboding comment, and says that he's too scared of Steve's driving so he's just going to sleep and hope that we get back safely. Basically, he threw all the responsibility on MY shoulders since Steve sure as hell wasn't demonstrating any of that responsibility.

I remember Steve changing 2 lanes over from the 3rd lane to the far left lane. Once we were "safely" and completely into the far left lane, he starts swerving. Steve announced, "It's cool, I got it! I got it under control!" Instantly, from past experience, I knew that he wasn't going to regain control of the car. At this point, I think, I knew this was going to happen. Then I think, I hope we don't die. I was thinking about the odds of surviving. I thought, we were going at fast freeway speeds of what I conjecture was about 80mph, he was swerving, and we're going to hit something and the odds of surviving are low. He bumps into the car directly to our right, but that car isn't heading into a spin. I factor in the fact that I have a seat belt on, unconsciously I grasp at my seat belt and end up grabbing my glasses hanging on my shirt as if I was trying to make sure the glasses survived the crash so it could tell the story of how I died. The swerving lasts maybe 5 seconds more and we hit the guard rail on the left and begin turning over. My lasts thoughts were actually quite lame - "What a horrible waste of my life if I just died right now."

I think I was on the verge of thinking of all the important stuff I would do if I survived or see the white tunnel, but luckily I didn't make it to the latter. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the former either so I don't have any extra insight on life other than the typical cliches you hear in the movies or read in old white men's autobiographies.

The car finally after maybe 3 turns (I think), slams onto the road on its side. I climb out of the top window of the car which has been completely shattered. There's glass all over the car and the freeway, and I'm still grasping at my glasses. I hear Steve slammer, "Is everyone alright?!" Randy says, "Yeah." Then I'm out of the car safely. I'm stumbling a bit and a bit disoriented. I see a bunch of other cars stopping and watching the accident and one lady on her cell phone calling the cops no doubt. I turn around to see them both coming out of a car leaking gasoline that was completely totaled.

Steve comes out and angrily says, "That motherfucker tapped my bumper. Where the fuck is he!?" He's stretching his head as if trying to look over the totaled car to find the asshole who tapped the rear right side of his car and sent us into a near death tumble. Unfortunately, I don't think he found the other car that basically did a hit and run. He was bleeding all over the place with gumps of blood rolling down his left arm, and walking around like some frantic ant that was trying to avoid being squashed by a big man's big shoe.

After the initial shock wore off, I felt incredible soreness in my neck. A police car arrives. The ambulance arrives. We explain what happens as they copy down our driver's license and asks us more identifying information. They then put all of us into a body board and strap us into this clumsy neck restraint. I felt like an insane person on the way to an insane asylum. The worse part of this car accident is that I didn't even make it to the part where my life flashes before my eyes and I gain sudden and incontrovertible feelings about the meaning of life!

------

I'm okay, but my neck is still very sore.

(I do feel life is quite a bit more fragile and perhaps random then before. How awful and meaningless would it be just to die in a car accident. And I also find everything so much more humorous... at the hospital, everything was so funny. I don't know if I should be depressed and sad that I almost died but got lucky and survived w/ no fatal injuries or living life fuller and happier than before.)

(Note: I believe him about that fact that someone tapped the back of his bumper though I don't remember it happening. I do remember that same car pulling nearly up to his on the right and ended up getting side bumped by us while we were swerving. Piecing together what I remember about this, it makes sense that we were bumped on the back slightly. Steve also says that he was driving at about 65 mph to the cop, but I'm almost certain that's not true. I certainly know this is not true, but I told him I didn't know the EXACT speed he was driving, which means that I gave him a partial truth. I just didn't know if it was 78mph, 80mph, 81mph, 87mph, or 90mph and so on. I am pretty certain it was approx. 80mph+. He does call me the next day to tell me that if anybody calls me to say that he drove at 65mph. Since he did this, it made even more sense that he was driving faster than he claims. )

The next day, I had an appointment with my uncle to go to Morongo Casino. My uncle is the exact opposite of Steve. He never weaves in and out of lanes and always drives too slow. There's always a dozen cars passing us and he always seems to be behind some slow as big rig. I usually hate his slow driving, but this time... THANK GOODNESS. I slept like a baby on the way there, won $500+ at Morongo, and slept like a baby on the way back.

That's baloney!

2005-07-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

I accidently screamed this out in class while the professor was lecturing. I think the professor must of found it quite offensive. Here's how it happen:

This one girl asks the professor, is the saying true, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" The professor responds that research does show that if you cheat once, you are more likely to cheat again. He explained this line of reasoning followed by examples and a few analogies to thieves being more likely to steal after getting away with it once. I found myself nodding along in relative agreement. After all, its supported by the research!

Then I think finding the class quite depressed, he turns to an optimistic note. He begins to say that people do change, can do counseling, and can dedicate themselves to changing. True I thought, people could try to change. Then he suggested that cheaters can try to become faithful non cheater people. I agreed. Then he suggested that cheaters can ACTUALLY become faithful loyal non cheater people. At this juncture, the whole class is quiet in this lecture hall of over 100 (as they have for over the last hour). At the same second that the professor seems to pause to catch his breath and maybe wait for questions, I accidently blurted out the words, "That's baloney!" The whole class kind of turned around and glanced at me. A few with smiling faces (smirking/laughing at or with me, I'm not sure) and others with a curious glance. The professor looks at me sternly and sarcastically says, "Um okay." Then he continues right on lecturing. I think I might have pissed him off.

But, he was spewing out such baloney. I have personal experience with this one. Everyone knows, "once a cheater, always a cheater!"

Self Education and Review

2005-07-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

As of late, I've spent a lot of thought on poker. After a horrible week in results, I decided it was time to do some poker research. Specifically, I re-read books, passages, and read some new books. I thought over and over again about my play of specific hands in specific situations and tried to apply what I read to the situation. I've been re-reading The Theory of Poker by David Sklansky. I also re-read Hold'em for Advanced Players, Improve Your Poker, Doyle Brunson's NL Section of the Super System, Internet Texas Hold'em by Hilger, NO-limit Texas HOld'em by Daugherty & McEnvoy, and Low Limit Hold'em by Lee Jones. With the exception of Daugherty and McEnvoy and Hilger's books being targeted toward beginners, all the other ones were worth the re-read. I also read Harrington on Hold'em both part 1 and part 2. This was an excellent book and I'll detail why I think so later. I also browsed The Making Of A Poker Player: How An Ivy League Math Geek Learned To Play Championship Poker by Matt Matros and various other poker books at the bookstore.

I think I'm pretty caught up on my reading. The problem I actually want to muse over is one about structure. On page 258 of Sklansky's The Theory of Poker, he details that it is important to evaulate the structure of the game and adjust to it. Low ante games with small blinds neccessitates tighter play and higher preflop standards and favors trapping in pots that are often smaller. Loosen your play is optimal in higher blind/ante structures. I've been thinking about this in my standard 100x BB buyin games online and I think it neccessitates that I tighten my game (w/ the exception of heads-up play and shorthanded). I typically avoid full ring games because it requires much more patience, and skills such as trapping and discipline go up in value. While at short handed tables, aggression, reading ability, and effective bluffing go up in value. The latter is more favorable to my strengths.

Now the real problem is Casino NL hold'em - I still don't know how to go about adjusting my style of play to suit the structure. For example, typical low limit NL games at casinos are usually about 30x to 40x the big blind buyin ($2-$5, $200 buyin, $5-10, $400) and play 9 handed with always at least a raise and many (2-4) callers. On one hand, since you are buying in with a small amount compared to the blinds and everyone else is as well, it seems you should loosen your play and be more aggressive. On the other hand, the table is still nine handed and loose preflop play (such as raising with K10) will almost invariably run into a bigger hand (such as AK, JJ) at a full ring game. Playing tight against these loose players still makes the pots very occassional because any time you are in the hand, there are 3-4 callers reducing your chances of winning the pot dramatically. Also the blinds are much more damaging since one standard raise (4x-5x BB) followed by not connecting on the board usually means you lose 10-15% of your stack since bluffing is not an option against 3-4 callers who are extremely loose and gambling types. Is tight aggressive still right here? Is loose aggressive? Is tight weak?

How should I adjust my preflop standards and flop deliberations? The players are such fish at these casinos (almost to the point of not knowing how to play) that I just have to figure out an effective strategy for this structure if there is one!

Personality Profile Online

2005-07-18T03:48:00.000-07:00

Overview

By analyzing your answers to the Relationship Questionnaire we have created the following Personality Profile. Everyone has a set of subconscious wants and desires that drive their choices and attitudes. By asking you questions about a wide range of emotional issues, this report has established general patterns in your values.

Some of the following information may seem inaccurate or incomplete. Remember, that this profile is a snapshot of your personality at a specific moment. It is not intended as an in-depth analysis of your complete being, but as a tool to aid in self-discovery.

* You have a high interest in the new, the unusual and the adventurous. You may also be curious and have a wide range of interests, preferring an ever-changing environment.

* You respect those who win out against the odds and show persistence. You set high goals for yourself and others.

* You love challenges and competition. Those who know you may consider you to be a high risk-taker.

* You love challenges and competition. At the same time, you must realize and appreciate that others may not share your zest for challenges and competition.

* In social situations, you prefer variety, adventure and the unusual. You may lose interest if you feel a situation is becoming routine. As a result, you must be kept busy and involved with making things happen.

* You will take issue and not shy away from confrontation when others disagree with how you feel or think.

* You have a natural enthusiasm for the activities you prefer. Because of your enthusiasm, you may forget that others have different wants and needs.

* Your primary social strategy is making things happen and happen now. Usually very active, you thrive on challenge. When the going gets tough, you get going.

Communication

Each person has a unique way of communicating. We use a combination of body language, facial expression, verbal tone and word choice to share ourselves with others. The following statements offer a look at the natural behavior you bring to an interpersonal relationship.

* Having a variety of results at stake brings out the best in you. Your great strength is in directing yourself and others toward specific activities results.

* Your high ego traits coupled with impatience may have others read you as arrogant at times. This is only appreciated by others when they understand that you need quick results, challenges and competition.

* You are active in the things you do and in your communication. Your rapid mental activity becomes apparent when, rather than listening to others, you will be thinking of what you might say next.

* Not having a climate of challenges and competition may cause you to create such a climate. You perform best under pressure, and may assume that others want the same...your assumption is not always true.

* You have a natural competitive style. It is important for you to feed that competitive spirit, while also showing more patience with those who choose not to be so competitive.

Improving communication

Many different factors determine the communication styles with which you are most comfortable. Some individuals thrive on the challenge of pointed criticism, while others are at their best in a nurturing environment where criticism is offered as a suggestion for improvement. Each of us has a unique set of requirements and preferences. Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness.

* Take issue with the facts, not the person, if you disagree.

* Plan interactions which support dreams and goals.

* Support results, not the person, if you agree.

* Talk about new ideas, innovations and activities.

* Provide options, rather than opinions.

* Be brief, clear and to the point.

* Plan sufficient time to talk and listen.

* Be ready at the exact time.

* Provide questions and choices for making decisions.

* Omit the details and get to the "bottom line."

* Ask specific questions--preferably "WHAT" questions.

* Talk about expectations.

Strengths

Following are some of the specific strengths and/or personal characteristics that you bring to a relationship. These may form the foundations of many of your friendships and dealings with other people. Some will seem obvious, but you may be surprised by others. Take a moment to reflect on each and consider what role it may have played in your past successes, and even failures.

* You generally dislike the "status quo," and are exhilarating to be around.

* You often have innovative ideas.

* You like to initiate new activities.

* You are a good planner and enjoy looking ahead to the future.

* You are socially poised and people-oriented.

* You tend to be influential in decision-making situations. Others often turn to you for advice.

* You tend to be very goal-oriented.

* You have an excellent sense of humor and tend to see humor in events spontaneously.

* You tend to be tenacious about solving problems, not liking to give up until something is resolved.

* You tend to enjoy life and share that enjoyment with others.

Needs

In general, human beings are defined by their needs and individuals by their wants. Your emotional wants are especially important when establishing with whom you are compatible. While answering the Relationship Questionnaire you established a pattern of basic, subconscious wants. This section of the report was produced by analyzing those patterns. Our wants change as we mature and obtain our life goals. You may find it valuable to revisit this section periodically to see how your wants have changed.

You may want:

* A friendly, favorable social environment.

* No close supervision--you don't want people to hang over your shoulder.

* Unusual, new or innovative activities.

* Recognition of skills and ability.

* Freedom from many rules and regulations and the ability to write your own rules.

* A chance to be seen and heard--to work hard and play hard.

* Freedom from detail.

* Exposure and recognition by those who really appreciate your results and achievements.

* Acceptance in a variety of groups.

* An outlet to vent your emotions frequently.

* Excitement and variety of activities.

* Many and varied activities.

-----

Took me so long to complete the profile, I had to save my results somewhere. Some of the things I find very true, a few slightly inaccurate, and many of them quite vague.

Impress Her

2005-07-18T02:04:00.000-07:00

I found this funny joke about simplistic stereotypes about men and women are when it comes to intimacy.

"
How to impress a Woman:

Compliment her. Cuddle her. Kiss her, Caress her. Love her. Cofort her. Protect her. Hug her. Hold her. Spend money on her. Wine and dine her. Listen to her. Care for her. Stand by her. Support her. Go to the ends of the earth for her.

How to impress a Man:

Show up naked. Bring beer.
"

Poker play at Commerce Casino

2005-07-03T13:55:00.000-07:00

My cousin, Ryan, and I went to Commerce to play. As he described, these people are "total fish." They are loose preflop, and they are loose calling raises. There is almost always a raise preflop and 3-4 people playing for the flop. I imagine random hands like K7, J9, A5, and 89 are all gunning for the pot. Even premiums such as AK has a hard time holding up to all of these hands at once. Essentially because AK and other premiums still hold up best heads up. Since non of these pots get heads-up despite a raise of more than 5x the blinds, it baffles us that there is so many callers.

We decided that these variations in play would require us to make adjustments in our play. But what adjustments, I'm not completely sure. Sklansky suggests raising less and just calling preflop with pretty premium hands like AQ. I don't agree because the quality of hands my opponents are playing are ridiculously worse, it seems they should be punished for their poor play right away and through the entire hand. But how do you deal with it when a raise doesn't eliminate ANY players... its a very odd situation.

In addition, after analyzing the set-up and blind structure, it seems the casino designed it in a way that heavily favors luck over skill. Most of the time buy-ins are about 100x the big blind, but at these casinos (Bicycle, Commerce, Morongo) the buyin only comes out to be about 30x or 40x the BB thus increasing the luck factor as it makes it harder to play many pots early on without risking a high percentage of your stack AND making it harder to bet enough to reduce a players pot odds for drawing. In short, it makes it hard to protect your hand, and makes it harder to use your more advanced post-pre-flop play as an overlay.

Solution?
1. Move up in stacks and play looser and aggressive
2. Play tight textbook hold'em
3. Move up in stacks where the blinds are maybe 50x instead of 30x, and play tight aggressive.

I don't know yet, but I'll figure out a best solution soon enough. Once that happens, I'm going fishing.

There's always tomorrow

2005-07-01T04:34:00.000-07:00

I think this is a key piece of advice that I should take. Not every session can be a winning session. Don't chase your money, instead, take a break, and play tomorrow. How frustrating of a lesson to learn and remember: There's always tomorrow.

Kindness equates with Car Hassle

2005-06-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, someone hit my car. It was entirely his fault. Since we agreed to deal with it outside of insurance and allow him to pay for it, I've been driving my car back and forth from home to the car dealership. First, I spent an afternoon to get two estimates on the car only to find that they thought it was too expensive. As a result, they came and took my car to get a cheaper estimate. It was half the price of the 2 estimates i got, so my father was suspicious of the place. So we had to drive it there to make sure the place is legit and that they will do a good job fixing our car.

Once it comes back, I have to drive the car there again so they could order parts for the car. And finally, today morning I was taken there to rent a car so that I'll have a car to drive while my car is being fixed. I get there to rent a car and the guy asks me if I can bring the car back next Tuesday because he is afriad that the parts won't ship and the people who hit my car have to pay for a rental many extra days. I had a suspicion he simply too lazy or too booked and didn't feel like fixing our car.

As a result, its quite a hassle to me because I have to bring it back again on Tuesday. Not only that, they have to drive me there again. Basically, getting in a car accident is a hassle for everyone involved, but sometimes I wonder, if I let insurance deal with it, wouldn't it be much less hassle? The problem with being nice is that it never pays. It always costs you more than you bargained for.

40 wrong numbers in 20 minutes

2005-06-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

This morning I'm trying to sleep and a phone call comes in. I hear a unfamiliar voice asking for "Dr. Patell." I utter, "Wrong number." Her unfamiliar voice becomes very familiar as that call comes in 30 more times making me extremely frustrated. I keep thinking, how HARD is it to call a 7 digit number?! Finally, the lady says that she has been calling this number 626 917 18%%. Suffice to say, that is not anything close to my number. She says that she tried having the operator call it but it still connects to me. So I ask her for the number and I try calling it with my cell phone and miraculously it connects to me. So I found out I have 2 phone numbers that both connect to my house. So then I call my mom and have her try calling the number too and my phone ends up ringing. As a result of all the ringing, I now know I have two numbers AND now I can't get back to sleep!

Leaving for Monterey

2005-06-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for Monterey today for my cousin's wedding. It the first wedding among my cousins and I'm pretty excited. Look for updates on Neal and Sashika's wedding on a later post.

Back in Action

2005-06-02T01:34:00.000-07:00

After not playing any hold'em for 3 weeks prior to the end of school due to papers and finals, I'm finally back. And when I first came back after the 3 weeks of not playing, I think I was rusty, and as a result all i did was lose. But now I'm back in style, making back all the losses from the last week and and back in the green over 1k. It's good to be back. Btw, check out www.pokerchamps.com. It lets you play freerolls for free without depositing any money. It relatively new - use my affliate code if you sign up. My affliate code is : BONUSPLUS.

It feels gowd damn good to be back.

Newer Bigger Better?

2005-05-30T23:37:00.000-07:00

My mom suddenly bought me a new widescreen television. The TV is huge and really nice. She went out and bought it without ever even telling me. If she had told me, I would have told her not to buy it. I was perfectly okay with my current old TV. It wasn't spectacular but it served its purpose. I rarely watch cable anyway, and I watch a lot of DVDs. It really felt like an unneccessary spending of money. It makes me wonder why she bought it in the first place...

I suspect that she misses me so much that she really wanted to buy something nice for me. She really wants me to enjoy my time at home so I stay here. I think all those stories of how all my college friends @ UC Berkeley stayed at berkeley made her scared that I might decide to do the same. TV or no TV, I love her all the same. Why she has to go buy this huge ass TV... it looks awkwardly big to me still.

Setting goals moving forward but lacking patience

2005-05-29T04:26:00.000-07:00

My performance as of late in poker has been to say the least disappointing. I always believed that accurately describing the situation makes it easier to prescribe the correct solution. I got where I got by reading dozens of books and then playing often. But the way I've been playing is not reflected in the insights I learned from the books. Often I think of the textbook move, but I never make it. I think of some other creative way thats riskier with greater reward. Sometimes its brillantly successful, other times its pathetically stupid. This is just too much of a hit or miss strategy.

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I've decided that I'll have to go back to the discipline tight solid style. My ability to read a person's hand based on their betting patterns has improved yet I'm struggling to do better. It's really my fault. My blind ambition coupled with my belief that I shouldn't have to put in my dues. Ambition or stupidity, I try to play at levels higher than I have the resources for making the swings unbearable to my bankroll. In addition to that, I have an irratonal belief that I don't need to put in the grunt work to get the reward. I don't want to start on the bottom. Nobody wants to, but its true, its neccessary. You simply can't sprint up to a ladder and try to jump past the first couple of steps. All you will do is knock down the ladder.

I decided that I'll go back to play small limit tournaments to build my game, my dicipline, and finally my confidence. I'm tempted to buy the Wilson Turbo Poker program, but I'll hold off on that until my decision to try the tournament style works out.

My successes and failures have really taught me about my own weaknesses. It seems it takes some sort of big punch in the face for me to motivate myself to extreme work. After failure, its when I either give up or begin to work the hardest. I think of tennis when I was rejected from the AHS tennis team my freshman year. I got so motivated and slaved myself to death in tennis playing 3-4 hrs a day. Then I became one of the best on JV to easily move on to Varsity the following year. To say the least, it would have been much easier to work hard early and not have to slave yourself. Getting good grades in school was the same. I killed myself in HS not doing any work that I considered "grunt work" or "slave" work. Work such as coloring maps, repetition, or assignments that required no thinking or critical ability I simply didn't do. I wrote my essays, read my books, but didn't do the easy work. Not getting into Berkeley the first time was a ego downer. After that I added on the units, and slaved myself to death at PCC getting perfect grades. Not only that, I tried to slave myself to death in half the time. Now I've gotten myself into berkeley in half the time and saving over $40000. But, this way was so much more painful and grueling. To say the least, poker will be the same - it'll take patience - the one thing I'm most lacking.

Spider-Man 2 teaches life lessons

2005-05-27T01:58:00.000-07:00

Best friend: "She's waiting for you, pal. The way she looks at you or doesn't look at you. However you want to look at it." (referencing Mary Jane)

Spider-man: "I don't have time for girls right now."

Best friend: "Why, are you dead?"

Spider-man 2 establishes Peter in a very frustrating position. First, he is already working double jobs and both of his bosses are threatening to fire him. Add to the fact that he is desperately in debt and his aunt's house is about to be foreclosed. In addition to that, he's a brilliant college student with steadily declining grades, a late paper to do, and professor's that look at him with embarassment and pity. Worse of all, a beautiful girl loves him, but his strong sense of responsibility prevents him from doing what his heart wants him to do. His "best friend" says, "Why, are you dead?" I can feel the heat and frustration from Peter's situation, and to give up girls, I think he has in fact died. So engrossed by all his responsibilities Peter doesn't have time to be alive anymore. And if all of this wasn't enough (I know many college students who already do all of this plus a bit more), Peter also has a job as Spider-man. As spider-man, he does the job of an FBI agent, police officer, and neighborhood watch all rolled into one.

Would I take his life in exchange for his spidey sense, wall climbing ability, and slick web swinging action? Probably not. Dr. Otto said it best, "Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside... gonna make you sick." Funny thing is, Peter does start getting sick. Finally, after he sees the love of his life get engaged to another man, he really starts losing his powers and confidence. Basically, he goes impotent and chooses to give up being spider-man.

His life gets better temporarily. He even goes to class on time and his professor acknowledges his improvement. Peter shows up to MJ's play on time too. As Peter said, "I shine my shoes, I pressed my pants, and I do my homework now." Though Peter is different, he still has much of the same problems. Though he does better at school, Peter still doesn't get the girl. He still struggles with his responsibilities. He still feels guilty about what had happen to his Uncle Ben. The magic of Spider-man2 is that Peter Parker is a real person that you can relate to. A real person with real world problems. Peter isn't some far off superhero that nobody can understand.

So lies his dilemma. Following his heart or doing the right thing...

The movie's point is summed up with what Aunt May says to Peter Parker,

"...kids like Henry need a hero, couragious self sacrificing people setting an example for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. Years later they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one that taught them how to hold on just a second longer. I beleive theres a hero in all of us - that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most even our dreams."

Though I see Aunt May's underlying point, I don't think that people should have to give up their dreams. Your dreams are what you live for. Despite reality and despite all the circumstances that hold us back, our dreams are what keep us pushing forward. And when the movies comes full circle, Mary Jane tells Peter, "Its wrong that we should only be half alive - half of ourselves." Balancing our circumstances while keep our eye our dreams is what real people do everyday. I can think of several people who do this on a daily basis. One example is my big. Balancing her own set a problems, shouldering her family responsibilities, all while actively pursuing her own dreams (and not to mention spoiling her little all semester). I'm so proud of her too!

My parents are another example. Their my heros that allow me the freedom to study at school, or pursue whatever career goal i wish. They grant me a security net so that I can stand up and walk on my own and know that if I stumble or fall they'll catch me everytime until, one day, I won't need a net, and I'll be the net. They love me no matter what.

Would I take Peter's life in exchange for his spidey sense, wall climbing ability, and slick web swinging action AND I also got the girl? Maybe if I also got an unlimited fund to play poker. But I ask for too much.

Conversion Points

2005-05-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

You know in the movies when you watch the good guy fight the bad guy and the bad guy gets to a point where he is just about to kill the good guy but instead he hesitates? Or when the good guy can kill the bad guy but lets him go and then years later he has to deal with the bad guy again? Or when you're watching a movie and you see the girl and the guy's mouth inches away but someone interrupts them?

Finishing off the point. Sealing the deal, etc. etc. Well, I have a dozen or so stories of failed conversion points. Everything falls into place and all i have to do is pull her in and land the kiss. It's like I fly the plane perfectly from LA to Taipei and then I can't land the plane. I just keep flying around the airport in hope the ground will land itself on my wheels. It's like setting up the point in tennis and then missing the easy overhead by slamming it into the net.

It's unforgivable, and I dwell on it the most when I fail to convert my opportunities. What are conversion points/opportunities? It's when your desire for her coincides with a moment where the only reasonable thing to do is to kiss her. So if you don't actually want to kiss them and the oppourtunity presents itself, thats not considered a conversion point. It only counts if you get the oppourtunity and want it, but you don't kiss them. Getting opportunities can be hard work, and some guys never even get them. Sadly, telling yourself not to screw up only makes it harder to be the suave gentleman that makes just the right move at just the right time.

Aces In Yellow

One hand with thought process (Lim40/80)

Proud or Unproud

Intellectual sport

Lately

Investment books

Odds? who cares about odds

Fear, regret, and fear of regret

In this world you are useless without capital

A compliment at last

Importance of Math: expected value, bluffing frequency, and randomization

Dedicated or consumed with madness?

Tipping Dealers : generous is selfish, selfish is idiocy

Ruthless and risky : Lessons from a failed bluff

MLK jr, oppression, racism, justice and equality

University Education = Wasteful spending?

If a taught a NLH poker course...

Focus

Illegal

Most Annoying hand in Vegas

PokerStars blogger event

Summer

New semester goals

Winter Break Grade

Let it Rage

A is for Abstinence

My Playground

Thanksgiving Weekend *MiniUpdate*

Utterly Lost

You mean she actually has to say yes!?

Study? I can't bring myself to do it

The Woman is Taking Over...

It's as easy as 1 2 3

What category are you?

Rusty

Cupid, can i borrow your arrow?

Finding the sane ones in an insane world

Tennis is my drug for a lifetime

Foreign in America and foreign in China - doomed to being an everlasting foreigner

You can just feel it inching up

Some jibberish

Stress Build-up

I haven't had breakfast in a long time

Forget class and sleep in

Pokerstars free blog tournament

Silly Parents

Bad Ass Government Spy!

I think I might have a test tomorrow...

You lying bullshitter

I hit all my ROYAL FLUSH #2 with the QJ suited again!

Online Aid Tournament - 29 Place

Time flies but where?

I'm sick and dying and feel like I'm on drugs

Grant me freshman status

1st Place

Slowplaying Aces

am i a poker fiend?

What's he got?

My first ROYAL flush

Why I dont like limping with big pocket pairs

Where are you relationship articles?

Better lucky than good

Did he really? really really?

I won over 500 dollars this weekend but almost broke my neck!

That's baloney!

Self Education and Review

Personality Profile Online

Impress Her

Poker play at Commerce Casino

There's always tomorrow

Kindness equates with Car Hassle

40 wrong numbers in 20 minutes

Leaving for Monterey

Back in Action

Newer Bigger Better?

Setting goals moving forward but lacking patience

Spider-Man 2 teaches life lessons

Conversion Points

Thanksgiving Weekend MiniUpdate